home of the Dumple

Church as Counter-Cultural

2006-10-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

“What the world needs now, is love, sweet love.” The Carpenters sing these words in a society torn by anger, fear and selfishness. “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun”[1]. As the world was evil, the world is evil and the world will continue as evil. “Oh, wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”[2]

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”[3] We are all wicked. None seeks God. None draws near to him. We are evil in our very being. God spoke saying, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”[4] The words cause our hearts to scream out, “Certainly I am not evil! Certainly I am not corrupted! Yes, I can see the darkness of others. I see their worthless schemes. But not I, I am not corrupt! Sure, I make mistakes, but I am a good person! I should not be punished!” And yet, we hear the Spirit testify to us that we are evil, that we need help. Denial wraps us like a blanket, as though lies can clothe darkness with light. “Oh, wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”[5] The cold grips of death grab us like chains, in the prison of our misery.

“What the world needs now, is love, sweet love.”[6]

In the deep darkness, that covers so completely that the hand can not be seen an inch from the face, a light suddenly pierces. A light so bright, that pain grips the eyes, they shut, teeth clench, the head jerks away, as arms instinctively rise to cover the face. What is it? Who can it be?!?!

A voice speaks, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”[7]

Can it be? Is it true? Are we to be freed from our prison of misery? Will chains which have held us here so tightly be lifted, fall off? “Oh, wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? [Pause] Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”[8]

The Bride of Christ has been freed! Liberated from the prison we made with our own hands of death. “For by the grace of God we have been saved, and this is not of our own righteousness, not of our own deeds, but is the gift of God, that none should boast.”[9]

And now, those who have accepted this gift, who have surrendered their destructive control to God through Christ, are redeemed. They no longer sit alone, but stand together, as one Bride, in one Spirit, unified, in fellowship, in community, as they were designed to be, one holy people.

This is radical. This is unusual. They stood as wicked, now stand as righteous, clothed no longer in lies, but in Christ’s own righteousness. They, like their bridegroom, lay down their collective life for others. But why? They are motivated by love. The love God lavished on them, they now lavish on those who hate them. Returning beatings with kisses. Returning cursing with blessing.

Indeed the Bride is counter-cultural, for where the culture seeks pain, suffering, selfishness; the Church seeks reconciliation, joy, selflessness. Where the culture sees worthless interruptions, the Church sees divine appointments. Where the culture sees unexpected children as a hindrance to careers, success, money and power, the Bride sees these children as a blessing, demonstrating love by laying down careers, success, money, power, even ministry.

The Bride sees through new eyes, eyes she was given by her Bridegroom, God, the true truth. The culture is blinded, snickering as her as though she cannot see the truth! As though she is foolish for loving! Her love may cost her, this she knows, for she has suffered for her love and will again. She chooses the better path, the one of costly love, following her Bridegroom to joy and happiness.

[1] Ecclesiastes 1:9
[2] Romans 7:24
[3] Romans 3:23
[4] Jeremiah 17:9
[5] Romans 7:24
[6] The Carpenters, “What the World Needs Now”
[7] Luke 2:10-11
[8] Romans 7:24-25a
[9] Ephesians 2:8-9

another adventure at the barber's

2006-10-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

I know, it's quite unusual for me to post anything. It takes something so big that I actually sit down and write instead of attacking the piles of work before me. I got another haircut, yesterday. It reminded me of a while back when I got a cut that resulted in a tuff in the back and a tuff in the front. This time my hair resembles a soccer ball with bangs. Who thinks that looks cool? Who says, "Can I have a soccer ball with bangs cut please?" Apparently a lot of guys do, or a lot of guys just end up with those cuts. If you see someone with a cut like this, remember they probably didn't ask to look this way, it was chosen for them. Maybe it's a technique they teach them in school. Maybe imagining that the head is a round ball helps them get over their fear of cutting hair, like imagining everyone looking silly is suppose to help give better speeches.... Whatever it may be, for cryin' out loud, just make it look even, mullets went out with the 80s, thanks to too many guys trying to look like MacGyver. He's in a class all by himself, so just give up. You'll never make a bomb with a gum wrapper, spit and pocket lint, so ditch the mullet. And let's all ditch the soccer ball with bangs cut too.

on sacred speech

2006-10-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

Into the dark nothingness, God spoke. Saying, “Let there be light!” These words carry with them the newness of creation, for God is the Creator! And here, from the depths of God, speech is born. And here, from the holiness of God, sacredness exists. And thus, it is testified truthfully that God’s speech is sacred.
God is the origin of sacred speech. For there is one origin of speech, God. There is one origin of the sacred, God. Their common origin finds its fullness in, God.
His words are not those of weakness, but of strength, of power, of reverence. To the human ear, his voice is as pounding thunder. Yet, he gently whispers to us in the quietness of our souls. This is a great mystery.
In his presence, holy men fall as dead. His voice is proclaimed throughout Creation, Creation formed by his very words.
As Isaiah, many will hear God’s voice saying “Whom shall I send, and whom will go for us?” As Isaiah, let them answer, “Here am I! Send me.” Let them proclaim the words of God to a generation of men who have turned away and followed idols.
How will they speak? What will make them worthy to carry this holy message, this sacred speech? (pause) He will. His Spirit in them will. His Spirit is holy, sacred, set apart.
How can this Spirit of holiness dwell in men of mud? How can God, in his holiness, dwell in houses of wickedness? (pause) He will cleanse. His blood will cleanse them! Jesus the Anointed, Son of the Most High, whose blood was spilled for the race of men, whose spirit was given over to death, in their place, he will purify them with his blood. They will call upon him, and he will answer them, he will comfort them.
They will be called Christians, and God’s sacred, Holy Spirit will dwell in them. They will walk in his power. They will love in his power. They will speak in his power. They will abide in his Spirit.
And this is sacred speech, that God’s voice would pour out of their hearts. Sacred speech is made not only with the lips, or formed only in the vocal cords. Sacred speech is seen in their eyes, in their posture. Sacred speech shows itself with body language. Sacred speech cannot be contained by a pulpit, or a Sunday morning service. Sacred speech is not given only to one who speaks as pastor, for all are ministers in different roles.
Sacred speech is poured out on all of God’s children, through His Spirit. The body of Christ, the bride, the Church speaks this sacred speech every day. We speak it through our attitudes. We speak it through our actions. We speak it through our words.
Let the one who speaks on the behalf of God, with the authority of the local church, be careful of the words they speak. Let them find times of deep meditation with God over His Word. Let them live a life of prayer, unceasing, of relationship with God. Let them hide His words of life deep in their hearts. Let them abide in him. For apart from Him, they can do nothing.
May the words they will speak be written down. May they ask Him for guidance, in how to move themselves out of the way, and let Him shine forth.
As they seek to follow Him, to make him shine forth, and to lay down themselves, they will find a joy, a deep abiding joy. A joy that comes from obeying God. A joy that comes from seeing God work. A joy that comes from being in the center of His divine will for their lives. A joy that isn’t selfish, but selfless. A godly joy.

the call of every disciple

2006-10-04T10:39:00.000-07:00

In his incarnate ministry on earth, Jesus gathered many whom he called disciples. There were the masses that followed after. The group of 70 men whom he sent out. The group of 12 men whom would be drawn into deeper fellowship with him. The three, Peter, James and John. Jesus did not chose his twelve by their vast knowledge of the Scriptures or their honor among the people as skilled in their profession. He chose men of many backgrounds, of many personalities to found his church on. Often I find myself humbled that the God of the universe would chose me to follow him.
As we know from the Scriptures, the disciples, once hid themselves, locked in a room following his arrest, persecution, and death. They then were transformed with the empowerment of the Spirit following his resurrection. Indeed, God’s power has been given to us as children of the new covenant. Yet, I see in the disciples, something changed, something affected in them by their time with the Master. And I hear his voice, “follow me”.
I think of Peter and Andrew, James and John in their fishing boats, tending to the nets on the shore. Jesus is walking by, and he stops. He looks Peter directly in the eye, lifts his hand out to Peter, motioning him to come and says, “follow me”. The draw of the Master is too great for Peter to resist. He drops his net, steps out of the boat into the cold water and onto the shore, to Jesus, to the Master. Jesus then looks to Andrew, eye to eye they meet, and again Jesus calls, “follow me”. The invitation pulling so strong, as though Andrew can do no other, he drops his net and follows the Master.
Jesus continues to James and John, looking to them, and again repeating, “follow me”. They also come with him, in their hearts feeling joy and excitement. “This is it!” There is something so familiar, so true to the heart, that when this Jesus, this ordinary looking man from Nazareth comes, they know. They know. It is the call of God, they don’t know how they know, but they know. And they drop their nets, they drop their security, and follow Jesus.
For me, it was a Saturday night in February, I was gathered with hundreds of other Christians who were praising God. His Spirit came upon me, calling me, “follow me.” A slight pain came in the back of my throat, and then it grew, larger and larger, my eyes were burning, my mouth dropped. I was on my knees, hands on my face, tears streaming down, surrendered. I had fought so hard to be an engineer. And then as Peter, as Andrew, as James and John, I dropped my net, my security, and said, “Ok, I’ll follow you.”
And as we sit here today, I ask you, do you heard him calling? The voice of the Master, calling us. He is saying, “follow me.”

faithful

2006-10-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

"Who can really be faithful in great things if he has not learned to be faithful in the things of daily life?" ~ Bonhoeffer

first week back

2006-09-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

The first week back at seminary has been great. I’ve already had a ton of great conversations on God, one of the great perks of being in seminary. Just started a class on the history of liturgy, and it’s very interesting, though I’ve only read the first three chapters so far, The Shape of Liturgy by Gregory Dix is very interesting, if you are interested in how things have been done, what they meant and so forth.

It has been a bummer to be away from my girl, since we got engaged two weeks ago, and this was our first week apart. I was warned that I would find myself visiting her more this year than I had in the past, and I think my married friends are right, I got back tonight from a weekend up in Portland spending my free moments talking and spending time with her. I beat her in Chinese Checkers today, boo-yah! (yeah it was accidental, shhh!) Spending time with her makes me glad that I didn’t decide to go to seminary way over in Alabama, because well, I don’t think I could.

We have so much fun together. She got mad at me for leaning her out over the river on Saturday, now, I knew I wasn’t going to let her fall in, but she was still pretty mad at me, it only made me laugh the harder. I know I shouldn’t do it to her, but something in me sees it as just giving her a hard time, you know, flirting with her. I think she got the last laugh though, because after I leaned her over the river, I puller her back and she accidentally stepped on my sandal and my foot fell out of it, and I stepped right in the mud. That, she laughed about. I had to wash my foot in the river and I asked her not to push me in, she said she wouldn’t, but that didn’t stop her from poking me, see, she’s not innocent. Since I stepped in the mud, I’ve been called toad toes all weekend.

Now I’m back at seminary and ready to hit the books again tomorrow bright and early. If you want to come and visit, let me know!

so big, I had to blog....

2006-08-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

For the past few months, I've dropped off the face of the planet in the world of blogging, but I'm back, with big news.

News, so big, I had to blog.

It's killing you isn't it, you want to know, what does Dumples have for his faithful readers this time?

I'm engaged!!!!! No, really!!!! She said yes!!!! I know, I was in shock too. I think my exact words were, "holy crap! we're engaged!" lol. What a rush of emotions.

My brother told me when I called him that he thought he would be the first to get married, he's seven years younger (and a punk).

All my grandparents were just bursting at the seams for us and very excited.

My dad told me that we'd have a happy and good marriage.

My mom was way, way, way excited for me and so happy.

My fiancee said, "WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!" in this voice that took the breath right out of my lungs. It was emotional.

If you haven't experienced it yet, let me tell you, it was so surreal. It was like I was watching it happen. That is, until she gave me a hug, so tight, I felt her happiness in a way I hadn't experienced before and I was flying through the roof with joy in my mind.

No new posts...

2006-07-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

If you're still reading this, I'm impressed. See, I don't have internet at home anymore. I don't have much time where I sit around either, so posts have become non-existent. If you would like something to read, let me suggest my girlfriend's blog:
http://oldcomfyshoes.blogspot.com/

a poem

2006-06-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

My blog has been growing cobwebs I’m afraid. It has become so out of neglect, I’ve been on many adventures and spending much time active. My mind has lost track of stories that would be humorous for my readers, so I send you a short poem instead.

I once lived for myself, for my personal delight
Each breath I used to do what seemed to me right
I served myself, following his every command
Oblivious that sin had destroyed this man

Then Jesus came to me to set me free
My eyes were opened, and I could see
My heart, my eyes exposed to the light
I twisted, gnarling, hating the sight

I tried to justify my thoughts
Not realizing all the time, that I was caught
Sin, wickedness in others I saw
My finger was quick to point and my voice to call

I was a self-righteous man you see
I needed not this Jesus, this Savior,
No, no, no, not me

As time went by, the truth resurfaced at the surface
I was a man, wicked, filled with curses
Through try as I may, it was no use
By my strength, of sin’s chains, I could not loose

In shame, in humility, in weakness, I cried
Dear Jesus, be my Savior, abide!
Come in my life, set me free
I knew once with my mind, now in my heart I need thee

Take control of my life, be my ever guide
Keep me close to thee, by thy constant side
For not by my works can I be healed
Yet through faith you in I am sealed

Each day, I place myself in you
Your Spirit never leaves, you stick like glue
In you I find my strength, my power
In relationship with you, minute by minute, hour by hour

Aced it...

2006-05-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

I took my BCD (Basic Christian Doctrine) Exam today. Aced it. Took the hardest professor we have on campus, I wanted to make sure I get my theology down hard core. I even know all about Supralapsarianism. It was a great feeling. Two more to go....

making grandma cry

2006-05-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

I called my grandparents today to wish my grandpa a happy birthday (it was on Saturday). Well, my grandma answered the phone and was so happy to hear from me she started to cry! I didn't know at the time, but she handed me off to grandpa and then he hung up. So I called this evening to talk to grandma (I didn't want to seem rude by calling right back). She told me she was crying on the phone and was sorry she got so emotional. I had no idea, but then realized I guess I need to call my grandparents on a regular basis. I just forget to call people with school. Now everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person, first the story about my brother and now about how I never call my grandparents. I do love them, my family is just dysfunctional and I'm trying to learn how to be a better grandson... one day at a time. One day at a time.

good brother award

2006-05-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today at dinner, through a conversation with some friends, I remembered how good of a brother I am. There was a time, when my little brother was actually little, maybe 6 or 7 and I was like 13 maybe 14. I was asked to babysit for my mom. No problem. We basically ran around and goofed off like it was Lord of the Flies or something, chaos under control... Almost. Anyway, I had this great idea that I would tickle my little brother, and tickle I did! I tickled him and tickled him, through the point where he couldn't breathe and then... He puked, on mom's couch. Ah, what a good brother I am! I made him laugh so hard he puked! Give me an award!

Single or Married?!?!?

2006-04-27T11:59:00.000-07:00

"Single or married, you'll be sorry."

-A prof.

What does that mean?!?!?

How to Lose Two Fish

2006-04-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

The dreaded relationship fish appeared at my dorm room about a year ago, hand delivered by my girlfriend (friend at the time). Now if I remember correctly, at the time they were not relationship fish they were buddy fish, that is fish given by a group of buddies who thought it quite humorous to give me fish after I specifically asked that I not be given plants or animals.

There they were, swimming around in this little tank one of my friends had sent me in the mail, I fed them with fish food sent from another friend, and was suppose to receive decorations and gravel from two other friends. In all the five of them conspired to give me fish. Supposedly my friend Scott was the mastermind, but my girlfriend was the follow through executioner, who made sure that I would get those fish.

After we started dating within the month, the fish soon took on a dynamic known as the relationship fish. It was not admitted to until long after I had them. Many of you wonder why the fish didn’t get the boot the first day after she left. Let me explain. I couldn’t bring myself to kill fish, especially if my friends just drop them on me. I fed them, cleaned their tank, and bought a bigger tank with a bubbler.

As spring of last year turned into summer, I bought a bigger tank, then a larger tank still, I use that term “tank” in a loose sense. It was actually a storage tub, the sides were bowing out and it was voted ghetto by everyone that came over (what do they know!). This tub was approx. 15 gallons so they were pretty much living in the Taj Mahal. I threw in some plastic seaweed, some new rocks, and of course a brand spankin’ new water filter/pump.

At this point you’re wondering how in the world did you ever get rid of this monstrosity? Instead of downgrading I was upgrading at a fast pace. You’d almost expect to see a manatee swimming around in a pool in the backyard by the end of summer. What happened was I pawned it off on my girlfriend at the end of summer as I was leaving, claming there wasn’t enough room in my dorm (which was true given it was a 15 gallon tank). She was gracious enough to take it. I think that’s when I realized she really liked me. She was even taking my jumbo storage tub filled with fish.

She downgraded the tank to a five gallon, one made of glass, the kind that is designed for fish. She moved them into her apartment. After a while she suggested I take it back, luckly she had bought a glass tank designed with panels, and my dorm doesn’t allow us to have that kind of tank. Then glory of glories, they changed the policy and we were no longer allowed to have any pets, fish included in our dorm. I don’t think she believed me for a long time but eventually the reality of the situation sunk in. She had been stuck with the fish. I was home free! And that my friends, is how you lose two fish.

What ever happened to those fish? She got sick of them and they were “returned to their natural habitat”. No, she didn’t flush them, she sent them into a pond, to swim with the fish. (Note: I don’t recommend anyone who receives relationship fish to dump them, find a way to give them back, trust me, its better this way)

clowns...

2006-04-18T17:44:00.000-07:00

On my one year anniversary of dating my girlfriend I thought I would be mushy and make up a little scavenger hunt with a prize at the end. It started with a card that on the back had a picture of the first place she was suppose to go. She reads the card, smiles, gives me a hug and sees the back of the card (at least that’s how I remember it).

She guesses where the first place with a grin and then is off in search of what could be there. She arrives and reads the card; it says something mushy and then has a picture of the next place she’s to go to. She can’t figure out what I drew and begins to poke fun at my drawing. At first I think it’s funny and then she says, “Seriously, I have no idea what this is suppose to be.” At this point she’s looked around the apartment trying to figure out what it is and has just about given up.

I give her a hint. She’s completely making fun of my drawing now. She finds the next card, looks at the picture and can’t stop laughing. If she thought the last drawing was bad, she was wrong. She has no idea what this is suppose to be. I thought she was going to fall over laughing or break into tears, apparently I can’t draw. She asks me if it is suppose to be a highway. I tell her "No, it’s a refrigerator." She asks me which one inbetween catching her breath and laughing. I point to the refrigerator and she laughs again. Then she asks again which one is the refrigerator! At this point I realize I shouldn’t have written anything nice on the cards, I should have just written knock knock jokes and drew clowns on the back…. Is that a highway? No, that’s a clown!

She finds the surprise at the end of the adventure and she laughs some more. It's funny now to talk about so I think it was a success. And the moral of the story is, drawing isn’t my spiritual gift. I know my third grade art teacher would be sad to hear it, but her prize student is now a highway designer. (no not literally!) Sorry Mrs. Muntz….

On the Marred Image

2006-04-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

We have suggested above that the “image of God” in human beings is in some sense the capacity for self-giving, self-denying love. This, of course, has sweeping implications for the whole range of moral behavior. Above all, the one living out such love can be depended upon to be true in every relationship.

... as the apostle Paul so eloquently demonstrated in the book of Romans, even those who teach these things regularly fall short of them [because of corrupted state].

-J. Oswalt

on Hamartiology (Sin)

2006-04-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

"The Bible holds that the Creator has a completely consistent ethical character. When it says that he is good, it is saying that he never acts in a way that is inconsistent with himself, nor withthe nature of his creation, nor with the best interests of his creatures. Thus, sin is not so much an offense against a divine law that has been promulgated by an immutable Sovereign, as it is a broken relationship expressing itself in a lack of conformity with the character of the Creator."

"In Romans 11:22-23, Paul clearly implies that belief in God is to continue to depend on his "kindness" whereas unbelief is to refuse to live a life of such dependence. If we do not trust someone, we will not believe what they say, and if we do not believe what a person says, we most certainly will not do what he asks. That is unbelief."

"There are also 4 occruances of apeitheia ("disobedience") that are used synonymously with apistia ["not belief" 12 occs.] (Rom. 11:30,32;Heb. 4:6-11). This synonymous usage underlines the fact that unbelief is not merely the absence of belief, but is an active refusal to act and live in faith." [Also see Mark 16:48; Hebrews 3:12]

- John Oswalt on Hamartiology (part of book in progress)

Monk-fu Exercises

2006-04-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

I would explain this if I could, but you really need to just click the link. Thank Finger for the link.

http://translate.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.datacomm.ch%2Fkapelle%2FDynamischesvaterunser.htm&langpair=de%7Cen&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&prev=%2Flanguage_tools

a memorable quarter

2006-03-31T13:39:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a nasty quarter? Have you ever tried to give it to someone you cared about? How about pawning it off as a present to your boyfriend/girlfriend? If you were my girlfriend you've done it twice. She first tried to give it to me when were sitting on her couch in Portland when I was visiting her. Then after I failed to take it with me (on purpose) she gave it to one of her close friends who gave it to another friend who gave it to another friend who gave it back to my girlfriend. What did she then do? She packed it in an envelope and mailed it to me. On the way from my mailbox to my room, it worked a hole into the side of the envelope and fell out of it, which I hadn't opened yet (this is why you tape money to the envelope). It was lost, that's about the time she started to refer to it as "our relationship quarter". What a punk! I knew it wouldn't be lost forever, I mean I don't know if you can even spend it, and it has been around the block a few times as you can see from the picture. Today, while walking back from doing my laundry, I saw it laying out on a table in the lounge, someone was kind enough to leave it for whoever lost it (that would be me of course). I picked it up, brought it back, procrastinated from doing my homework and wrote a post about part of the life of a nasty quarter. With such a special girlfriend, I don't doubt I'll have received a "wet Willie" (that's where you stick your finger in your mouth and then proceed to place it in someone else's ear) before Christmas. Then again, with such a special boyfriend as I am, I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up smashing shrubs or being put in shopping carts. I promise our relationship isn't too dysfunctional.

screendoor on a submarine

2006-03-29T11:01:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's official, this blog is as useful as a screendoor on a submarine. That was a good song when I was growing up. Good job, Rich Mullins! This is exam week, so I'm trying to study for the looming exam of Basic Christian Doctrine. Have you ever wondered why you aren't allowed to take your notes into an exam? I mean, when I'm in ministry, you better believe that I'll be looking things up that I'm saying. However, I do see the need to commit these things to memory. In other news, I lost the nasty quarter Andi decided to mail to me. She's so precious! Spring break is almost upon me, which you might think would be a great time to take a break, but looks can be deceiving. Instead, I'm going to be trying my best to catch up on my school work and maybe, just possibly get ahead! If that should happen watch out! I could be making a visit to the birthplace of aviation, no it's not North Carolina! I'll try to post something worth reading next week. And till then, remember, faith without works is like a song you can't sing, it's about as useless as a screendoor on a submarine.

The Heavenly Man

2006-03-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

No one sells a product like someone who isn’t the salesman. And when the non-salesman is excited about it, man, everybody and their brother is interested. Especially if the person excited about it is someone who never gets excited about anything. That’s my intro to my friend Dj, who started reading the book, The Heavenly Man. This guy is pretty much apathetic to everything thrown at him here at seminary, but now he’s like a little fireball hopped up on this book. Of course this means I ‘m going to have to read it, I just have no idea when I’m going to make time. I’m suspecting it will be spring break, which is coming up in a few weeks. If you’ve got time laying around, maybe you should look at it too.

Changin' tires! Boo yah!

2006-03-19T18:28:00.000-08:00

Many times when I post, I think my only motivation is to not be a quitter. I don’t know if that resonates with anyone else, but I hate to quit on things, and I would hate to quit on a blog out of laziness. Today I attempted to change a tire on Andi’s old car, which now has been passed on to her sister. In all honesty, I was feelin’ pretty stinkin’ manly. I thought to myself, “Yep, I’m going to be doin’ man-work. Changin’ tires.” I jacked up the car detorched the bolts (Andi finished taking them off while I was jacking the car up). Then I pulled the wheel off. And then I pulled the wheel off. And then… the stupid wheel wouldn’t come off!?!?! What the heck!?!?!? I pulled, I leaned against the car and pulled. I lifted the tire up and pulled. I pulled and my back started crying. All to no avail. The stupid wheel wouldn’t come off! Andi got some WD-40, I sprayed it in the screw wells and then pulled again. Then Andi’s sister got out the rubber hammer and I tried tapping the wheel off. It still didn’t budge. The car was moving, but the tire was firmly affixed to it. I even tried praying. Nothing. Trust me, many a times I couldn’t get something to work, we prayed and it just started working. God has a sense of humor like that. After a while of pulling and twisting, we gave up, put the stuff away and left the car jacked up just a bit. Maybe I should have offered the tire a bribe. Maybe it knew it was going to the big tire pile in the sky... or Xenia.

The landscape of Christianity – Part I

2006-03-07T20:03:00.000-08:00

As I look back and look towards the future of my journey, I doubt the road behind will not be traveled again. The bridge of “once saved, always saved” has long been engulfed in flames and mere charred wood pieces remain. Take a walk through the history of the church and you’ll soon find this theology is a modern invention, not any of the early church nor did the reformers believed this, all affirmed that a believer can indeed fall away, either by God’s sovereign choice or by the choice of the person. The Scriptures testify to this as well. I know this ostracizes me from modern Evangelical America, but who can submit when their convictions are that Scripture teaches otherwise. None of us are above it, nor should pass judgment on what it says. If we find our experience differing, then we should examine it to make sure we understand it as it was originally intended to be understood.

the burbs.

2006-02-28T05:34:00.000-08:00

"There has been considerable crying in these latter days that the church is moving to the suburbs and isn't that too bad? It is too bad if the inner city is left without a ministry of Christ. Yet the suburban church need not be a feeble reflection of modern suburbia. It should and can be a powerful force; for suburbia is where the people are going and those of us who are working in this area ought to see it as a fresh new challenege in American Prostestantism."

Charlie W. Shedd

Absolute Knowledge & Ed

2006-02-24T08:13:00.000-08:00

The past two weeks have flown by and yet no new posts have gone up on the blog. If there are any people out there that really wish they had a new post to read should just call me. I’m terrible at posting. I just got through a class where we talked about the use of “absolute” in philosophy and in general talk. I have to admit that the thoughts my dear friend Ed tried to express last year were somewhat skewed and unclear from what the professor tried to explain. Basically while the professor believes there are unchanging truths, he would not refer to them as absolute truths because of how the term absolute is used in philosophy. Further, because of the relatively finite things we know that do not change, that are unchanging, with complete certainty, these being laid out in the Bible as characteristic of God (as my opinion goes) by God’s divine revelation (how else would we know any truth as certain, just look at the history of science and human thought), it is best to shy away from the modern use of knowing things absolutely. The professor went on to say that we do not need to prove the Bible because to know something as truth does not require proof and proof of the Bible is completely true in all that it affirms is impossible from a scientific standpoint as history has shown, much as the bagel I ate last Friday cannot be proved, only evidenced to at best, yet I can still know that I ate a bagel last Friday through faith in my memory of eating the bagel based on its track record (as I remember it) of remembering what I ate accurately. Again, as I pointed out in the fall, knowing something is true is possible and honest, given the correct conditions, even when we can’t prove it. Enlightenment thought has come and been shown to be flawed, as all human systems have historically been seen and probably will continue to be, although probably not in their own era. Being freed from the modern mindset that we must prove everything for it to be true should be a freeing thing and also introduces instability (that always existed although not always seen) to truth and knowledge. Thankfully, we have divine revelation, even if the secular world does not recognize it.

I hate Squirrels

2006-02-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

One more reason why the rat with a puffy tail must die:
http://www.vtwinmama.com/demonic_squirrel_riding_story.htm

a tale of three cuts

2006-01-30T14:08:00.000-08:00

It all started on when I went to the barber shop with my dad about a week ago. He was paying for cuts so I thought, “Man! I’m going to save 10 bucks!” I hopped in the chair and the barber was off, clipping and chopping and going to town. I went from having a very shaggy head to having a mop piled on the top of my head and the sides removed. At first I figured that maybe it was my imagination and really there was more off the top than I thought. After a while it became apparent that actually they didn’t cut that much off the top after all.

I decided to go with my old standby over the weekend and get a cut from Shrilly. She’s always done a decent job so I went in and got it cut this past Saturday. Sure enough she took some off the top and it was looking more realistic, the sides and top were matching more…. except for the bangs. I realized that she didn’t cut them very much at all. I thought maybe I was imagining things again, so I went to hang out with my buddies on Saturday night, I mentioned I thought the barber might have left my bangs a bit long and my friends agreed, so now I needed a third haircut.

I talked to my girlfriend who suggested I cut it myself. She tells me now that she wasn’t serious, but I stood in front of the mirror that night with a pair of scissors trying to figure out where I should cut. It was similar to when you’re trying to center an overhead on a projector and you keep moving the wrong direction. After hacking some of my hair up, I realized, “Boy, this is really stupid, I’m going to cut my hair to pieces. I’ll see if I can’t get Andi to fit it tomorrow.” I went to church the following morning and some little kids and a couple of adults commented on my haircut saying it was “straight out of a Japanese cartoon” and “cool-looking”. Eventually church ended and I arrived at Andi’s place.

She called in a professional, her mom. There we were, in the bathroom, my head hanging over a sink, Andi heckling me, poking me and her family watching as her mom cut my hair. She also noticed a tuff in the back they have consistently failed to cut the whole year. I thought it was just a cow-lick, so did Andi, until now…

The moral of this story is:

a) Never get your haircut by some guy at the barber shop who hasn’t warmed up yet, and maybe not by guys who are older than 60.

b) If you find that your hair has a continual cow-lick, try another barber

c) Listening to your girlfriend can make your hair look “Cool” and “straight out of a Japanese cartoon”

d) It pays to have a girlfriend whose mom cuts hair on the side

e) I just don’t think there is a moral to this story

The Evolution of a Haircut

tire pressure

2006-01-25T10:28:00.000-08:00

I had just gotten my tire replaced at Sears, down in Lexington, Kentucky. I checked the pressure of the tires upon the observation made by my girlfriend who noticed that they seemed a little low. Indeed they were low, except for the new replacement tire which was inflated 10 lbs. over, which is 30% over inflated! It was rainy and wet, I was tired as could be, as was Andi. The weekend was eventful, and we were ready to come home on this Sunday night. I decided not to make a big deal about it at the tire place, who in their right mind replaces a tire and doesn’t make sure all the tires have the correct tire pressure?!?!? We drove to a gas station, and low and behold a guy was filling his tires, so a little bit irritated, I’m tired at this point, we drive to another gas station. Andi observes that this gas station also requires that you pay 50 cents to use their air. Not ideal, but no big deal, I grab 50 cents out of my wallet and proceed with pressure gage in hand.

The rain is coming down now, and it’s down right cold. I unscrew all the tire caps and measure the pressures to get a feel for how much air I will need, since it’s going to be timed and I’ll have to move quickly to fill up all my tires. The first two tires are filled without too much trouble, there is some trouble because this stupid air station has an automatic winder, so I have to fight it and stand on the cord so it doesn’t pull at the wrong direction when filling the tire. I move around to the third tire, the new one and release air to lower the pressure. I let out just a little too much so I begin trying to put the air pump on the tire nozzle. Unfortantley, I can’t get the pump on right and it keeps letting air out but won’t fill up the tire. Lower and lower the tire pressure goes. All the time, the cord is pulling and my hands are slipping in the wet, cold conditions. Then I hear the pump shut off and I know that I have to put another 50 cents in. I lose the grip on the cord, and it flies back, no joke, to it’s home, along with the air pump, I’ve lost my patience. I’m tired and just want to get home. Andi sees it on my face, I can tell. I move the car around to face the other direction, get two quarters and hop back out in the rain.

The air pump connects with the tire nozzle this time and I am able to fill it without any trouble. I know at this point that Andi prayed for me and the situation. How do I know, I think God told me he made it work this time and that I had Andi and him to thank for it. I move to the other tire and fill it up. I go get the caps and start to put them on the tires. As I’m putting the caps back on, a man inside an old car with tinted windows starts yelling at me and telling me to come to him, I think to myself that he’s an idiot, of course I’m going to ignore him and act like I can’t hear him. I finish, get back in the car and thank Andi for praying. She says, “You’re welcome”. Yeah, sometimes you just know God did something nice for you. We drive away and I check my mirrors for the punk who was yelling at me but I didn’t see him follow. I’m thankful that God loves and blesses me at times like this.

A Must Read

2006-01-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

If you haven't read this, and I'm guessing you haven't, you need to.

http://www.fallennotforsaken.com/andy/2005/11/special-music-science-behind-art.php

Thanks Andy for shedding some light on a dark subject.

a weird experience

2006-01-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

It was a few days ago, sometime in the afternoon. The dog started barking, which is usually an indication that the mailman or the UPS truck has arrived. This time it was different. The dog was going crazy, barking loud and often. He even ran down the stairs to stand against the door and try and spook whoever was on the other side. I went to the door, and walked outside, because it’s the only way to keep the dog from slipping through the crack and trying to get whoever is there.

As I walked through the doorway I noticed the old maroon minivan parked on the street in front of our house. An older gentleman of Indian origin was standing there, a step away from me. He spoke.

“I’m here to pick up Ate-E”

Puzzled, my response was, “I’m sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong house.”

Confusion came over his face as well, as he replied, “No. Right house. Ate-E”

At this the confusion on my face must have indicated he was not getting through to me, he then pointed to a scrap piece of paper the size of a post-it note, which had the name Katie scribbled at the top in pencil. It clicked in my mind, this guy was looking for Katie, not Ate-E.

“Oh! Katie. You’re looking for Katie!”

“Yes, Katie. I’m here to pick up Katie.”

“Yeah, there’s no Katie at this house. I think you have the wrong address, this is 5511. Which address are you looking for?”

He looked down and found the number, then replied, “No. This is house, grey shudders, grey house, 5551. I drop her off here.”

Just for a minute put yourself in his shoes. Here you are in another country, where the natives don’t understand you clearly. You’ve dropped off your daughter or granddaughter at someone’s house. You come back to pick her up and one of the natives, a man, in his 20s tells you that you have the wrong house. He acts like he doesn’t understand you, has no recollection of your special little one. There is a dog barking in the background. You’re trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Is this guy going to give her back? Is this the day she’ll be lost forever?

I know he’s confused, and he shows me the paper to prove he has the right house. I’m trying to keep conversation with him while I read. It appears he is on the right street, just not the right house. He’s looking for 5551 not 5511. Now I don’t know which way 5551 will be on the street, because honestly I never look at the numbers to know. I say to the man, “Ah…. well… let’s ask the neighbor, Paul. He might be able to help us.” I walk with the man, towards my neighbor. “Paul. Do you know who lives at 5551 or where their house is?” He seems less than interested and mumbles that the houses next to his are out of order. This only adds to my confusion as I head up the street with the old man following me, close. I have to commend him on his patience.

As I walk up the hill, I realize that we are indeed increasing in number, soon we should find 5551. I talk to him explaining what we are doing. “We’re looking for 5551, it should be up here somewhere….”

Then it happens. “This is the house! This is the house I dropped her off at! Grey shudders, grey house!” I looked, sure enough, 5551. I could see the tension lift from his face. “Thank you, thank you!” I handed him his scrap of paper, and then headed down the hill towards my house. I turned to see him following me. He spoke again, “I am going to go get my car, and drive it back up the hill.”

I nod and reply, “My name is Ben.”

“My name is Rev. What is your name again?”

“I’m Ben.” We then commence into small talk briefly. He thanks me again, hops into his maroon minivan and drives away.

It was a weird experience.

the other ME(s)

2006-01-16T13:00:00.000-08:00

I recently thought I would see if I could find Dawn's blog since she hasn't told me what it is... alas, there are billions of other Dawn Douglass' in the world. Who knew?

Then I got curious and thought I would see how many other me(s) there are.

I found I'm a Catholic Apologist, Vice President of it actually (I rock)
http://www.catholicintl.com/catholicissues/lsst.htm

I found that I work at a Church of Christ leading worship, ushering and serving communion
http://www.plazachurchofchrist.org/Jan2006.htm

I also found I'm a swimming coach in CINCINNATI (that's where I live). Werid huh?
http://www.angelfire.com/hi5/punahouaquatics/TEAMINFO/coaches_bios.html

Lastly, it appears that I live in Oregan somewhere around Portland and really really don't like Christians. Sorry I'm not going to give this guy any help via a link...

With all this in mind, I think I've just wasted your time and mine. Have a great day!

The Ben Douglass

O-H-I-O

2006-01-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

What great weather we’re having here in Ohio! Maybe it’s global warming. I sure am not a scientist, but it is 20 degrees above average consistently. What’s up with all the frog extinction talk? All I can say for sure is praise God for blessing us with nice weather here! I love skiing as much as the next guy and sure I’d love to build a snowman, but while the weather is nice, I’m thankful for it. The dog and I have been out every day minus one this break and it’s been great to walk every day. If you’ve received a call from me, don’t think I’m hitting you up for money, I’m just calling my old friends to catch up. It’s one of the luxuries I’m able to afford with this break from school and work. If you haven’t gotten a call, please do call me sometime and let’s catch up.

Now with all the time off, you would expect a good story or something. I don’t really have one. The most interesting things in my life involve the daily activities of the dog. Unless you want to talk Bible stuff, then I’m studying authority and inspiration as they relate to the Scriptures. Don’t throw stones at me yet, I’m not leaving my roots, I’m just trying to understand what’s out there and why they hold what they do. I’ve also been doing a lot of reading on the C&MA denomination. They are kind of like a Presbyterian Methodist Baptist Pentecostal mutt that has a large emphasis on missions. Now if you’re really amped about another denomination and you’ve researched it, I’m open for suggestions. I’m ok with the cross-pollinated denominations as long as they are defined in what they believe and it is a genuine Christian denomination with accountability and some structure to ensure dangerous teachings are kept out.

Ironies

2006-01-11T11:22:00.000-08:00

Peanut Butter has more fat and saturated fat per serving than bacon, over double the fat.

It cost me $10 to buy my brother his Christmas present and $5 to ship it to him here in Ohio, but it arrived much later than expected, so I had to ship it again, this time it cost me $10+ to ship, making it cost more to ship him his present than the present itself!

Because school requires a lot of reading, and hoping to get a jump on classes, I checked out of the library the books used for last semester, only to discover after starting my reading that the books had all been changed this semester, thus putting me back to where I started minus the time invested!

A Dog with Two Heads

2006-01-03T12:28:00.000-08:00

Now you've seen everything, even a dog with two heads. So consider your life fulfilled... Unless you want more than this world wants to offer you, then I suggest you try Christianity. It's worked for many that have gone before you. I'm not just a salesman, I'm a Christian too.

Things are pretty slow around the house, I think when you don't have anything you can really do, you start to get even more tired than you were before when you had lots of things to do. So in honor of my inability to get motivated to read for school or do my work for church here's a list of things I've realized this week.

1. No matter how much you feed my dog he always wants more. No, seriously!

2. My dad and the dog have a telepathic connection. The dog only appears to come back in (after I've let him out) when I'm sitting down to do something and my dad walks by the door. In this way, I look like I'm being negligent to the dog and he gets more treats from my dad!

3. If there is a puddle of mud or dirty water, my dog will find it. He's like a magnet.

4. The dishes get dirty all at once, I don't know how, but somehow they do. For instance I left to go to a dentist appointment today and when I returned, there was an entire sink of dishes, mind you there is only my dad at home and he only ate a bowl of soup. Or so the story goes....

5. Most people make too many generalizations. It sounds good when they say it, but later you realize they were making too broad of a statement. (do you see the humor in this?)

6. Green bananas go directly from green to brown, with no yellow days. I've been watching this new batch and it's not any different.

7. I've never been to the dentist when they said, "Man! Your teeth are so clean! Just leave! No need to be here!" It doesn't matter how long or often I brush them!

8. Family always calls you when you're asleep. It doesn't matter if it's 2:30 in the afternoon, somehow you'll be asleep!

9. Recommendations always come from people who hardly know you. They never ask for recommendations from people who actually know you, because they might be bias!

10. People are never happy with what they have. If they were, they wouldn't be people.

For Andy Brown…

2005-12-29T14:29:00.000-08:00

Apparently my good buddy (GB) Andy Brown (AB) checks my blog everyday. Sure, I thought my girlfriend was the only one stalking me, but apparently I have stalkers of the same gender too. This story goes out to AB.

It was the night before my good buddy Aaron Shaf. was getting married and a bunch of us guys were hanging out at AB’s uncle’s house. In attendance were the two now famous stars, Nick Nye (the Nick Nye that’s recording in Louisville) and Lenny Tavernelli (who stars as the native in his new movie: End of the Spear). Anyway, we’re eating Sloppy Joes and lots of chips, drinkin’ root beer, rippin’ some bad gas, and playing video games. Someone, I can’t tell you who, but if I had to pick someone I would say Nye, decides we should wrestle. We pair off and people take turns. First up, Nye verses Brown. AB pretty much doesn’t touch Nye, while Nick decides to go animal on AB. Then AB turns up the heat and Nye blows out his knee. We grab ice from the kitchen and he’s done.

Now most of you would think that would stop the wrestling for the night, I mean, we’ve already had an injury. Here’s the thing, Nye is a faker. You can’t tell when he’s really hurt and when he’s faking it or when he’s just milking it for attention. We figured it was bad, but no one really knew how bad it was till much later when he had to have surgery on it.

Next up, Lenny verses myself. Now I’m quite a bit taller than Lenny which should give me some advantage, but Lenny is built like a tank. The result, we were standing up for like ever, no one could really get the other to go down. Besides I think we were both taking it easy, we didn’t want to end up icing something next to Nye. Anyway, in a bold move, I did something and Lenny starts to go down, but he’s not going down forward, he’s flying backwards. He used an atomic kick on me, somewhere between my legs. I yelled, “Solider Down!” as I collapsed to the ground in agonizing pain. I crawled over to the couch and sat next to Nye.

At this point you would surly think the other two wouldn’t be wrestling, but sure enough they decided to go at it. It was Matt Martin verses Mike Halpin. Mike is about half the man Martin is, weight wise. They get to actually wrestling, making sure neither of them ends up like me. Then Martin uses a “Gator” roll on Halpin. It was quick and looked painful. Halpin also was injured like myself. He crawled to the couch and sat next to myself and Nye. We shared the package of ice between us, passing it back and forth. Believe it or not, it actually helps a lot.

What I learned from all this is skinny guys shouldn’t pair off with ape shaped men in wrestling matches, sure chess wouldn’t be bad, nor video games, but when we’re talking wrestling, a couple shots placed carefully can take a solider down. And knowing is half the battle. Go Joe!

Mom Awards

2005-12-26T10:28:00.000-08:00

Everyone should be thanked for what they do, no doubt. This past week has been trying to my patience. You see, I’m at home helping my dad do things, since he’s recovering from his neck surgery. It means I can’t really leave the house, I have to always do things at the drop of a hat, and do annoying things at that, like help my dad put on his socks, clean up dog puke, shake the shaving cream, let the dog out, do the dishes, do the laundry, run errands for him, etc. It seems to be illusory to think I’ll be able to get my homework done while I’m here over break. When things slow down, it’s after dinner, way after dinner usually. Who wants to do homework then? I want a break for crying out loud.

It’s got me thinking about moms. Now don’t get me wrong, dads work their tail off at the office and are pooped when they get home, but I think moms aren’t getting off easy themselves. It’s a practice of humility every day, making themselves a servant for others who aren’t able to do simple things for themselves. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to take care of teenagers! My dad tells me how to do everything from proper steps of cleaning up puke to how to make his sandwich for him. I think I would go crazy if some little pipsqueak decided at the age of 14 that they knew how to do my job better and whined about everything as it was. I’m already praying for patience almost constantly as each new chore around the house comes up just as I was ready to take a break.

I think we should consider mom awards. You know, give your mom some kind of award for the hard work she does. I think they should come in multiple levels. The first and most basic would be thanking your mom randomly as she does the daily tasks. The second level would be random days where she gets some relief from doing her tasks, maybe more systemized. The last level should be mom vacations, hey, they give them in the work world, but even on vacations moms are usually kid managing. This might look like a family vacation where dad is responsible for keeping track of the little/teenagers. And last but not least, every mom should be given a car and given some time away from the house, I’m going stir crazy and I get to walk the dog every day.

I would also blow up television. Even when I’m tempted to watch it during the day nothing is on. Nothing. The internet is really mostly like a news/shopping mall. I’m sure that there are social groups where moms get together and hang out with other moms, let us be careful to not give them a hard time about it calling their jobs easy, everyone knows in the workforce that we sit around the water cooler every once in a while and gab it up, it’s only necessary for sustaining sanity during the daily routine. I wouldn’t doubt I’ll get hate mail from moms over this one. All I can say is, it’s only my first week!

Send me back to school!

A Dog Gone Dilemma

2005-12-21T07:53:00.000-08:00

I’m home for the holidays in Cincinnati, taking care of my dad and his dog. Now we all know dogs have three goals in life: eating, sleeping, and playing. Champ, my dad’s dog, loves to eat, loves it more than life itself. If there’s one thing he loves more than food though, it’s walks. He loves going on walks. At first I think I was foolish enough to believe he really liked exercise, but as time has continued it has become apparent that he really wants to do his job, peeing on things. We (Champ and I) have to stop near every good bush or tree, at least to smell it and maybe to pee on it. When he finds a place he really likes, he pulls out all the stops, like Columbus when he reached the new world, like Astronauts when they reached the moon, he stops and plants his flag in the dirt, well it’s more like he leaves a happy present for someone else to find. Now here’s the question, should I bring a bag or a few to pick up his ‘presents’ or should I leave them in hopes that the winter will destroy them into oblivion?

a virus in the system

2005-12-13T22:04:00.000-08:00

American Christianity is plagued by a virus, a virus of thought. The virus tells us that it’s ok to accept Christianity on the grounds of a philosophical system. It helps us determine what is morally acceptable. We go to church, we pray over our meals, and we spout out theological terms like it was a description of the most wonderful vacation we’d ever taken. Yet, somewhere deep in the recesses of our hearts, the virus has done its work. There is not daily, living relationship with God. It has been replaced with short prayers early in the morning and late in the evening. Our lives have been turned into a routine. We understand routines, they make sense, they keep us feeling safe. Over and over we trace the lines of our philosophical system, all the while neglecting the relationship the system was designed to function in. And we give up. Signs of life vanish in the hustle and business of life. Reflect with me, how does the relationship God is desiring in us fit with the life we’re living?

the all nighter

2005-12-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

We’ve all done it, ok, so I’ve at least done it a few times, waited until the last minute to write the paper that will be due the next day. As I was writing my paper last night, I remember thinking, “Gee, I don’t know how this is going to get done.” Then I talked with my girlfriend, and she says, “How long have you known about this?” I sheepishly knew I shouldn’t answer that question, she knew the answer, like an episode straight out of Matlock. After our short conversation (I had a paper to write for Pete’s sake!) I went back to writing. Each sentence had to be painstakingly checked, it’s an exegesis paper which is heavy on research, and one mistranslation can send the paper in a totally new (and wrong) direction! It was about 3 am when I started feeling like I was floating. It was then I realized the level of sleep depravity had sunken to a new low, because while a few years ago 3 am might have seemed like a reasonable bedtime (when in college), now as an old man, 3 am seemed more like the “all nighter” you hear stories about. At the end of it, my typing was getting pretty incoherent. I guess that’s the beauty of it. You may think that being in grad school at a seminary would mean that we do our work well before it’s due… yeah, that is not the case, except for a few married guys who are just on the ball. And now you know, the rest of the story. I’m Ben Douglass. Good bye.

Thanksgiving was a blast

2005-11-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving break was a blast. It’s hard in the moment to realize how great things are but hindsight is great. I spent a bit of time with my girl, Andi. She always cracks me up and we had some good discussions. I spent some time with her family, they’re fun too. They are word people, what I mean by that is that they play with words and make jokes by playing on them. I beat her whole family in a game they called Swimmin’ and I almost felt bad for beating her mom, but the whole family is smart so I don’t feel bad, I was dealt some good cards. I spent time with my dad’s family in northern Ohio. My grandparents and dad would watch tv and then go off on a tangent related to what was on tv, speaking really loud, preventing us from hearing any show and giving them our undivided attention, which at the time was annoying, but now, it’s just funny. We ate lots of good food and forgot the meaning of thanks-giving, at least as it related to God in the corporate setting. I hung out with my mom back in Cinci until I bored her to sleep (she was tired to begin with) and ate spicy Panera (what were they thinking?). Now I’m back to school and am starting my routine. It’s going to be a hard two and a half weeks ahead, lots of reading and writing, but this is what I’m suppose to be doing, so I’m honored to do it. If something really hilarious happens between now and then I’ll be sure to post it. Lastly, who in the world is reading by blog in Plano, TX?

it ain't easy being cheesy

2005-11-26T12:02:00.000-08:00

I know when I started out as a Christian I was a lot more naive as to how life would play out. I thought that being a Christian would be a cakewalk, you know where you walk around and someone just gives you a cake, man, carnivals are great… I digress. I can’t tell you that when I wake up I want to go pray, or want to read my Bible. In fact, I don’t really want to do anything Christian many days when I wake up. Now either I just have missed the boat, or the Christian walk is hard. Unlike many other things, discipline is not enough, I can’t just get up and spend time with God out of duty, I mean I can, and I do have to some days do things out of obedience, but that’s not what my life is suppose to be. It’s a battle within myself many times over. I’ve heard the inner struggle compared to war, and I must agree, it is a war. I was just reflecting on this, this morning and thought I would share.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-17T17:59:00.000-08:00

I love thanksgiving. Almost more than Christmas. Now if Christmas was about Christ and not about presents, it wouldn't even be a contest, but alas, the enemy has taken a joyous holiday and turned it into American consumerism, or maybe we just did that. Either way, I find that I enjoy the fellowship of family and the de-emphasis on presents and materialism all that much more. I do regret that every Thanksgiving turns into a contest among peers as to who became the biggest glutton, this year I will be out of the runnings. I’ve found in myself a stronger and stronger desire to not be a glutton and to remember God’s not excited about me being a glutton either. Fasting has helped me gain a control over the food that I doubt I would have realized I needed, had it been otherwise. Anyway, there’s nothing like being with my incredibly loud family, eating great food, laughing so hard it hurts and then listening to old men gabber on and on about meaningless football while the women are having deep conversations in the kitchen (and you thought they were just cleaning the dishes, no way, it’s just a method of keeping the men out of their conversation). This holiday season will be all the sweeter spending time with my brother who just graduated high school and has been spending his first semester away from home and my sister who is in her senior year at Wright State University. I hope your thanksgiving is as good as mine will be. Praise be to God, who brought to us eternal life through the only savior of all humankind, Jesus Christ our Lord!

HP and Me, throwing down

2005-11-12T12:54:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of my HP printer. It should be shot. I'm contemplating sending it back to HP with a note on it, "CRAP." just so they'll remember that the 3420 Deskjet is a piece of work. Normally I'm not too hyped up on printers, but I think I've finally had it. There is very little redeeming value to the printer. It will not work without a color cartrige in it, although the HP website seems to disagree, as well as not having a "Print Assistant" that it tells me I have because I have a HP printer. It starts printing a large job then stops two pages in, it has done this repeatly. HP suggests restarting my computer, which has the effect of wasting my time. All in all, HP owes me a sweet laser printer. I know it won't happen, I'm realistic. Yet, me and the junk printer need to go take a 'walk'. One of us won't return. So here's to you HP, way to make a such a terrible and difficult printer.

chapel lecturer

2005-11-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

Another world famous lecturer came and spoke in our chapel today. It’s actually a normative thing as chapels go. I’m sure that it makes some people feel impressed, but something else has made an impression on me. The speakers usually participate in a section following the lecture, during lunch, in which the speaker dialogues with people who want to speak with them. This smaller area is used to foster an atmosphere where a deeper level of learning can take place. Beyond the annoying questions that people ask that make the lecturer out to be a god of sorts, there is a sense of learning that takes place.

The thing that most impresses me though is the way we all interact with these heroes that we get to meet, these men and women that have helped shape our thought and challenge us to look at the Scriptures in new and deeper ways. There is a sense in which we want them to know us. We want them to build a relationship with us. We want others to know that we have a relationship with this person. And it got me thinking about my motives. Why do I want a relationship with this person? What if my relationship with them was just behind closed doors, would I still want it? Am I after the publicity of being known as a friend or an associate of their work? And I can’t help but think that secretly, my motives are being driven by a need to feel important, to gain leverage to feel accepted by others. To make the world stop and say, “Whoa, that guy is special!”

And then I started to think about their source of wisdom; the source from which they blow our minds and bring us new insights. And I think, “it’s God!” God is the one empowering them, giving them insights.

And then I start to think about how God works in people. Granted he does give status and power to some. Yet, it seems to me, that throughout the Bible we are told not to seek such things, not to desire men’s approval and worship. I think of Paul and Barnabas running into the crowd and tearing their clothes, scarcely being able to stop the people from worshiping them.

And then I think, man, God is so counter-intuitive, so ironic. Only when you aren’t driven by the need for prestige, about man’s glory, then you will seemly get it. And if you do get it, you won’t want it, you’ll point back to the Creator, even at the point of getting mad at these men who are trying to ascribe glory to you. And you’ll beg them not to, and they still will. Secretly they think you want it, secretly you might even have the desire to get it, but with every fiber in you, you know you shouldn’t want it, and you glory in not getting it, but pointing them back to the one that is truly worthy of the glory.

What a God.

that special bond.

2005-11-01T15:27:00.000-08:00

There is a special bond two people who live in the same room hold together. You talk to each other, you share theological insights with one another, and you pass gas together. There's just something special about passing gas in the presence of another. Some prefer verbose gas that could tell a story while others prefer to express themselves with a machine gun like speech. Either way, the point is at the end of the day, there's that special bond between those two people who live in the same room. Sure, some may say it's simply the funk that's infiltrated the recesses of the mind (those poor only children), while others know it's something that goes beyond what words can express.

And who can forget the methods people take to rid themselves of this special bond. Some prefer to use "air freshener", while others prefer to open a window or door, still others prefer to light a candle (if you're brave enough). The point is that you express your expulsion method together.

so english isn't my language

2005-10-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

it has also been recently been pointed out that english isn't my language....

Matching clothes...

2005-10-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend tells me I can’t my feet together. It’s a painful truth, but I just plain don’t know how to match nothin’ I guess. For example I went up to visit her in Portland two weeks ago and I wore a green t-shirt with a tan dress shirt over it with blue jeans and some sneakers. She waited until the next day and subtly told me that I didn’t match the day before. Honestly, I thought I was stylin’. On Sunday I thought I would push my luck and wear a similar outfit, another green t-shirt and the tan dress shirt. After church on the way to lunch one of my buddies tells me I don’t know how to dress and decides he’s going to take me on has his new style project. This is hilarious to me. I guess I will always be an engineer no matter how hard I try. Personally, I still think the outfit wasn’t lookin’ so bad.

Identity in ministry?

2005-10-17T19:04:00.000-07:00

This past week was a bit discouraging. I debated not writing about it, fearing that some of the college students at our church might read it, but I guess it will be a good lesson in the imperfection of humans. Here we go.

I put a lot of time and effort in arranging something recently in the ministry God has placed me in. By all human measurements, it failed rottenly. I found myself struggling with basing my identity in my performance in ministry. I know that I shouldn’t base my identity or feeling God’s ‘approval’ in how well I am doing, but still when I fail, it’s not a good feeling and the temptation to believe that God is disappointed in me because I failed is real. In retrospect, I’m glad when God lets me fail on some level because I think it helps me re-evaluate what I’m really thinking, not what I think I’m thinking. It caused me to really deal with how God views me when I fail.

To which I must agree in asking, "Is this one for the people? Or is this one for the Lord? Do I simply serenade the things I must afford?"

modern scholars

2005-10-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

It has finally turned fall here in Lexington. I’m sad to say that I’m actually kind of glad that it is here. School is going well, I’m reading a lot of commentaries and trying to decide how to best deal with all the modern scholarship against the traditional writers of the NT. I don’t agree with modern scholars, and frankly I’m not really convinced by their case but I have to wonder how I’m going to deal with it. How do you approach a bunch of Christians that don’t think that the people claiming to have written the NT aren’t really the writers? If the writers don’t have the integrity to be honest in who’s writing them (writingin the sense of dictating or directly writing the letter), then why in the world would we take them as a credible source? I think the answer is that a lot of modern scholars while acting like they still would keep the credibility if the author was other than asserted in the letter, really want to use it as a basis for throwing out whatever they decide they don’t like, something that rubs against the culturally accepted values. It’s odd to me because I think most Christians (outside of these ‘great’ scholars) would agree that the Bible is always counter-cultural. That’s what being the Bible means! If it didn’t rub the cat the wrong way so to speak, then what value would it be? Would it be valuable to tell us, “Hey you’re doing everything right, don’t bother reading!”

fixing...

2005-10-04T19:54:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what to write about so I’ll talk about what God’s teaching me. He’s teaching me to be thankful for what he’s given me. I can see this in the convictions I’ve felt lately. I’m by nature a fixer. I fix things. Whatever it may be from relationships to electronics to church systems to whatever, I just have a tendency to see the problems, address them and move on. The down side is that I have a tendency to see all the problems and get frustrated with them. It definitely can burn people around me as well as burn myself if I don’t take time to focus on the good, thus the lesson I’m learning. It’s like I’m being shown how to fix the fixing fixation!

God's will

2005-09-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

"I have found His will is always good; but the best thing about it is that I find Him there.
…
Almost every young person you counsel as a pastor wants to know God’s will for his life. How much more important it is for him to know God than to know what His will is! If we know God, His will becomes evident. We can’t miss it; it will come."

Dennis F. Kinlaw

Less than 25% in US are married w/kid(s)?!?!?!

2005-09-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

I had to post this, it's amazing to me. Less than 25% of Americans are married with children. By 2010 it is suppose to drop to 20%. Divorce rates are high, living together is growing in popularity. America is in big trouble.

how human?

2005-09-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

How human was Jesus? That was the question raised tonight in the dorm. An interesting question. Did he take a number one, how about a number two? The debate was raging on how did he struggled. Did he experience being sick? Did he get the common cold? Could he have gotten leprosy? He was ordinary and yet, not ordinary by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, he did bleed just like we do. He was tempted just like we are, but without sin. Did he struggle with the normal things as he grew through puberty? How did he deal with being single in his 30s? Did he doubt his own divinity or want to throw in the towel in ministry? How often did he feel discouraged? Did he feel depressed in his ministry?

let it come alive.

2005-09-14T17:42:00.000-07:00

“The great tragedy of the Reformation was that when Luther died, Piper said [another Piper], Melanchthon edited his work. And when Calvin died Beza edited his work. Melanchthon encouraged the people of Germany to read the Bible to find Luther’s doctrine in it, while Beza encouraged the people of Geneva to read the Bible to find Calvin’s. Thus the Word of God was stifled again.
That was a comment for which I will never cease to be grateful. I am Wesleyan in theology, but I need to be very careful that when I read the Bible my concern is not to find what Wesley taught, but to discover the Word of God. If Wesley opens the windows on the Word of God (and he does for me), three cheers for Wesley; but the important thing is that the Word of God comes alive for me, so that I can share it with others.”
Dr. Dennis Kinlaw
from Preaching in the Spirit

one of those days...

2005-09-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those days where you’re given a lot of information and you’re not sure how to process it all? I’m there today. I just got back from visiting UK and am trying to figure out how best to go about setting the gold standard. Advice seems to run parallel and in tangent at the same time. Everyone agrees they want me to show up and hang out, but they really want me to come to their weekly meeting. I am just now realizing everyone wants me to be another body in their meeting, you know, helping the momentum grow. I'm not sure that's the best use of my limited time, actually, I think it's a horrible use of my time. God, grant me the wisdom to handle this correctly.

headship of the church

2005-09-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

I've recently had a conversation with a person dear to me about being part of the body.

We all agree that it is an important thing to not be a solo Christian. Many errors come from not partaking of the Christian community. Another danger is not putting yourself under the headship of the church. 3 John 1:9-10 gives us the example of Diotrephes, a heinously sad example of a man. “Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us.” Here Diotrephes decides he doesn’t need to listen to John, the apostle, the man who spent three years with Jesus and was specially commissioned to lead the church! Or for that matter, any of the other church authorities! How often can we say the same thing? Regularly I meet young 20s who will have nothing to do with the church leadership. I agree we need to listen to what God is telling us, but without the context of Christian community, part of a local congregation, I believe we put ourselves in a great danger, bypassing the authorities God has prepared and instituted, both in the leadership of the church and also by not honoring the older men and women of our church. Please share your passage references and thoughts.

my Andimal

2005-09-10T09:09:00.000-07:00

I realized that I haven't put a picture of Andi up on the web.... This could really backfire on me if one of her stalkers starts using it as their background... For my faithful, and not so faithful readers, here's a picture of my favorite girl in the world.

it is not the will to do great ministry....

2005-09-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

"The will to win is the most over-estimated phenomenon in sport. It’s not the will to win – everyone wants to win. It’s the will to prepare to win that makes winners."

-Bobby Knight

prove what you know?

2005-09-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

I just learned that you can't always prove what you know, and that's ok, you can still know it. A simple fact we overlook many times. I can't prove that I ate Oatmeal today, or that I had a pain in my ankle on Tuesday night, but both happened and I know them. Next time someone tells me to "prove it" because I "know it" I'll help them understand you can't always prove what you know. To prove something you have to have publicly accessible criteria. Thanks Dr. Walls.

life in Wilmore

2005-09-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

I haven’t written on my blog in quite a while. I thank you for being faithful to a human who is less than faithful to his readers. It’s not that I don’t like you’re enjoyment, but blogging is just a hobby, something for me to do in my free time. Lately, that’s been non-existent. I am not complaining, don’t get me wrong. I’ve enjoyed spending time with my girlfriend before I left and now that I’m down at school, I’ve spent most of my waking moments preparing for the semester and making connections and setting the workings for the college ministry in place.

I should slow down a bit. I got the job of college minister at my church, First Alliance in Lexington. I felt a burden last spring that I needed to start doing ministry. I knew I needed to do it before then, but Greek was suffocating at best and left little time for normal things, such as reading my other class books. Now that I’m the college minister, I’ve been working hard at building relationships with campus groups at UK such as Crusade and the Wesley Foundation. I believe that God is asking the college ministry at FAC to reach out and start making an impact at UK. This means that I hope to equip the Asbury college students and send them out to UK to do evangelism, Bible studies and discipleship. I hope to also continue working with the UK students that are FACers. Needless to say, the first couple weeks down here are busy off the hook.

In other news, my new roommate is cool. He’s laid back enough and works with me on the things I love most. I am sleeping peacefully all night now. It’s a blessing that is ministering to me. My classes seem great, I need to be disciplined enough to make sure they get enough of my time. Of course, Andi, my girlfriend will be getting my time as well, and before anyone gets my time, God gets it. That’s a pulse check with me. I haven’t seen nearly anyone on campus still. It will happen in time.

The best story I have for you is that Andi, who gave me two goldfish last spring is watching them this fall in a twist of irony. Buwha ha ha. She thought she was going to get out of it, but somehow before I left, she took them. Now she’s trying to get me back by adding more fish to the tank. I should add that she bought a new tank and is now talking about upgrading the tank. It happens every time. I think that’s why they sell small tanks at the store, they know how people think and how they will be tempted to upgrade. It’s like crack, only fish owner crack. I told her that she is keeping the new fish. I’m not taking more fish, I was gracious once and spared their little fishy lives, but I don’t think I’ll tolerate more fish. I’ll keep you updated, semi-regularly.

An Unbelievable Witness

2005-08-22T16:24:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I have a girlfriend. Andi and I have been very diligent to have good boundaries in our relationship. I have accountability with my roommate and she will have it regularly with a friend who just returned home. I was at work today explaining that I took Andi to meet my parents this weekend in Cincinnati (thus my haircut that brought on the discussion). A co-worker started talking about how they let their children sleep with their girlfriend/boyfriend when they bring them home to visit, strongly implying that I also partake of the practice. I could feel their eyes on me as they waited for the response they assumed would be confirmation. In that moment I could see the worth of our purity, it is a testimony to the world, a sharp contrast, light in a dark place. I responded shaking my head no, “We have good boundaries in place.” The co-worker prodded me, looking for holes in my statement; I assume finding my statement wholly unbelievable. I know it’s hard for them to believe that a person would wait and preserve marriage as a holy covenant. It is unconceivable, unimaginable, something not of this world. Then again, who could ever imagine such a good God as the true God, our Father, is? The discussion went on, moving to other people sharing their children coming home stories, but the damage was done. A brick in their walk towards Christians came down. The witness of our relationship actively spoke to God’s goodness! It was like a new form of evangelism hit them! The kind you don’t bottle up on a few pieces of paper and hand to them, rather, the kind of evangelism that is lived out in lives of Christians who are pursuing God through holiness and a relationship with him. They sure won’t let me preach to them, but our actions, when so different from the norm, so unbelievable, opens the door for further discussion. Father, you are good. Good indeed.

the painful parts

2005-08-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how God uses the most painful parts of my life to grow me in my relationships with my parents. I think it shows me how he is able to turn those things which the enemy has meant to destroy into something powerfully useful for the kingdom. A recent event I will keep nameless has sent my family out into the deep waters of emotional turmoil. Both my parents grew up in homes that were void of the deep Christian love I take for granted. It shows me the depth of sin and how our relationship with God restores us, even while we are broken, into a new level of wholeness even a hundred years of consoling couldn’t fix. I more and more realize how great a gift God has given us, how far we are restored and how much more we will be restored in the resurrection from the dead, when all in Christ will be given bodies that are perfected, that is, bodies that are not ravaged by the depravity of sin. As I grow as Christian I find myself growing in love to everyone I know. I feel emotions more powerfully, because I love more, as I am loved by God and love God more. I don’t know how non-Christians do it, they think they are living but in reality the hollowness they live is a paper mache shell of the true living and active life God desires for them. All of life is about a relationship with God. For the longest time I thought that meant I had to hear God audibly speak to me and say stuff like, “Ben, how was your day today?” I’m realizing how he speaks to me, I can see him speaking to me and to others through many things and I am able to know what he wants me to do almost instinctively (God’s guidance through his Spirit).

I must stop here, though. I would love to continue, but something must be covered. If there is not complete, and I do mean complete, surrender to God, just hang up any notion of being Christian and go live your hollow lives of desperation. I think most Christians live lives of unsurrendered living. We’re willing to give God almost everything, but we hold on to something, it could be a girlfriend/boyfriend, a child, a rock collection, money, maybe watching your favorite football team on Sunday afternoon, or an mp3 collection. Maybe you’re just not willing to speak to someone at work, love the unlovable, forgive the unforgivable. My point is, that we lose the joy God has for us because we refuse to give up everything to him, we don’t trust him with everything and lose for it. I can honestly say I’m living a surrendered to God life right now, it’s painful, especially when I have to slow down on the highway, repent of my mouth’s musings and do things I sure don’t want to (because I’m selfish).

But seriously, I feel so far inside of God’s will for me right now. It’s one of the greatest joys I think I could ever try to express. I find I’m listening to people more, ministering to people’s needs more, being gracious in ways I didn’t know I could be, and caring about people that only God could get me to love. What joy there is in our Father! It’s not an easy road, as in, there are bumps along the way, but God always sustains me. Great is your faithfulness, oh God, my Father, there is no shadow of turning with you.

mmmmmm

2005-08-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

This looks good, probably even better after camping...

Go ahead please fight me

2005-08-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

Fell in love with the game

But i forgot your name

Go ahead please fight me

Cause i'm not scared

Though you stayed the same

I forgot from where i came

-Blindside

I'm glad God disciplines those he loves. I don't know where I would be without it.

Gross hands

2005-08-03T17:37:00.000-07:00

This is a post about washing hands after hittin’ the can. I must confess, the first time I started washing my hands regularly after using the can with the exception for #2, was in college. It was all thanks to the persistence of my dear friend, Adam Ewing. Without Adam, I’d probably still be a caveman, one that gets sick a lot. He convinced me that it was indeed sick to walk out of the can without washin’ the hands. Now, on with the post!

Many of us have experienced this, we’re washing our hands at the sink, when someone comes flying out of the stall and runs to the door and makes a departure. Instantly we’re jolted, “What just happened!?!?! Did some dude just walk out of here, after a #2?” What makes it worse of course is that they just grabbed the handle on the way out! Now, as you grab the handle, you can’t just grab it, you have to get a paper towel and grab the handle with it, or you might as well go take a #2 and not wash! We all know that it gets worse, not only did they just grab the handle, and probably the handle to get back into their office, but they will shake other people’s hands, handle money, use keyboards, push elevator buttons and may even be the guy who is serving you food!!!! This all said, JaBurd and myself have come up with a solution. Toilet police. They’ll watch over us like Batman over Gotham, like Superman over Lois Lane, like your boss over your shoulder when you’re reading this post. They can write tickets, pull people over as they are walking back to their office and even do raids on office cubes where guilty perps. have been walkin’ the streets for years. They’ll be funded by the government, hey, they’re the guys who sent monkeys into space, pay 500 bucks for a toilet seat and hire contractors to do work that they could do themselves! Don’t get me wrong, I think the police, fire fighters and CIA have an important job, but they’re not the only guys the government hires, they hire a lot of people! Even me! All toilet police will carry hand sanitizer on their belts, as well as Lysol and air freshener. They will sometimes sit disguised in stalls waiting for the guy next door to commit a violation. You’ll see them pulled over on the side of the hall too, ready to do random hand checks!

Ok, so this is a bit ridiculous, but there are other alternatives. One being we just all refuse to wash our hands and just “suck it up!” as my girlfriend would say. Another is public awareness like the smoking campains. “Just say no to toilet hands” “Dare to keep hands clean” They can do after school programs where they give kids candy after they wash their hands. Make movies about how cool it is to wash your hands. Get famous movie stars to pose with wet hands and put them on billboards that say “Got clean?” I’m sure you can think of a few others. The bottom line is wash your hands after the can! This post goes out to my boy named Burd, thanks for the brainstorming.

bein' cool

2005-07-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

IF you're still reading this blog I give you props. I have to admit, I hardly use the internet anymore! It all started when I lost my internet connection in June. After a few weeks of it, my appetite was curbed and I found that I hardly ever used it. I still read a few blogs now and then, but mostly just to see what stuff my friends are up to.

I don't know why, but my life has a lot of ketchup stories. On Sunday we were at Ruby Tuesdays eating lunch. I had left my cell phone at someone's house by accident (it fell out of my pocket). My girlfriend, Andi, got a hold of it and decided that I would have to do some dumb stuff before I got it back. When she went up to the salad bar, I went through her purse (I know, it's a crime in most states) and grabbed her phone (mine was being held hostage in another girl's purse). She didn't know it was gone and I later agreed to all the dumb things she made me do, like sing "I'm a little tea pot" with a british accent, and have a friend draw a smiley face out of ketchup on my forehead. I was agitated when doing these things for sure, but I got through them knowing that whatever she made me do I was going to double or tripple it for her when she figured out that I had her phone. Well the time came and I got my phone back. Then I told her that if I ever get a hold of her phone she better watch out, because I'm going to make it worse for her. She then proceeds out of parinoia to go through her purse looking for her phone that she had just earlier made a phone call on. The look on her face when she figured out that I had it, and had my phone back in my possession was priceless. Scott and Paul were giving her and all the girls such a hard time after she found out, it almost made me feel better that I had just put ketchup on my head. Almost. I let her squirm for a few hours and then I droppped it off at her parents house. She wasn't there, and they both watched me as I walked in the house. Man it was awkward. Anyway, you should have seen her face. She knew she'd been snookered!

teachin' me grace

2005-07-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

God has been teaching me a lot about grace lately. Words always fall short.

I was part of a conversation with a person struggling with a drug addiction we ran into on Sunday after the fireworks downtown. God showed me a small snippet of his love for that person during the divine appointment we had with them. The backdrop was a gay bar we had parked in front of by accident. As I reflected over the backdrop on the way home, I felt sadness for them. I am reading a book on grace right now, and the following day, the chapter I read focused on the struggle of one man who struggles with homosexual tendencies. How he had divorced his wife and left his children. The book talked about the Christian culture and how hateful it has been towards these people. Last time I checked, Jesus wasn’t hatin’ on the outcasts and the people with struggles. He loved them. He extended grace to them. I didn’t ever read of him giving a high five to someone committing adultery, but he did love them in spite of their sin. Kind of like how he died for all of us, despite our sin, our position as enemies of himself. It has really made me re-examine how I’ve joked in the past about homosexuality. People are in an all out struggle with this tendency, I realize my need to extend more grace, more tact, more love. It is interesting for me to realize now that grace isn’t grace unless the one extending it pays a price. I think in the past I saw grace as ignoring a problem, bending the truth. Rather, I see it now as a sacrifice made with love for those who may not even want it.

odd day.

2005-06-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

Two memorable things happened today....

1. I thought I punctured my lung and couldn’t breath at all for at least 30 seconds, it was a long 30 seconds. Everyone around me seemed confident that I would start breathing soon, I wasn’t. I did however manage to almost grab the Frisbee out of the air as I dove for it (Ultimate Frisbee). Man, I’m getting old.

2. I cracked my finger, I mean by that, that it popped…. on Scott’s belly! I was sitting on the couch trying to do some stuff on the internet, and he lifts up his shirt and charges me with his stomach. I figured if I held out my index finger, it would be a deterrent. It wasn’t. I couldn’t let him call my bluff, so I just kept it out there, and then he ran into it. I think I have the weirdest roommate in the world. I certainly didn’t wake up this morning thinking I would crack my finger on my roommate’s stomach. It’s gross. Did I mention I couldn’t breath for like 30 seconds? Man, it was a long 30 seconds.

Job 31

2005-06-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Job 31 is a curious chapter. I googled it, and found a person who refered to it as the man's equivalent of the Proverbs 31 woman. It is a quite interesting comparison. I don't think I've ever heard anyone make a reference to the male equivalent. A good chapter to read and think over. Enjoy!

Job 31
1"I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin? 2What would be my portion from God above and my heritage from the Almighty on high? 3Is not calamity for the unrighteous, and disaster for the workers of iniquity? 4Does not he see my ways and number all my steps?
5"If I have walked with falsehood and my foot has hastened to deceit; 6(Let me be weighed in a just balance, and let God know my integrity!) 7if my step has turned aside from the way and my heart has gone after my eyes, and if any spot has stuck to my hands, 8then let me sow, and another eat, and let what grows for me be rooted out.

9"If my heart has been enticed toward a woman, and I have lain in wait at my neighbor's door, 10then let my wife grind for another, and let others bow down on her. 11For that would be a heinous crime; that would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges; 12for that would be a fire that consumes as far as Abaddon, and it would burn to the root all my increase.

13"If I have rejected the cause of my manservant or my maidservant, when they brought a complaint against me, 14what then shall I do when God rises up? When he makes inquiry, what shall I answer him? 15Did not he who made me in the womb make him? And did not one fashion us in the womb?

16"If I have withheld anything that the poor desired, or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail, 17or have eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless has not eaten of it 18(for from my youth the fatherless grew up with me as with a father, and from my mother's womb I guided the widow), 19if I have seen anyone perish for lack of clothing, or the needy without covering, 20if his body has not blessed me, and if he was not warmed with the fleece of my sheep, 21if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, because I saw my help in the gate, 22then let my shoulder blade fall from my shoulder, and let my arm be broken from its socket. 23For I was in terror of calamity from God, and I could not have faced his majesty.

24"If I have made gold my trust or called fine gold my confidence, 25if I have rejoiced because my wealth was abundant or because my hand had found much, 26if I have looked at the sun when it shone, or the moon moving in splendor, 27and my heart has been secretly enticed, and my mouth has kissed my hand, 28this also would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges, for I would have been false to God above.

29"If I have rejoiced at the ruin of him who hated me, or exulted when evil overtook him 30(I have not let my mouth sin by asking for his life with a curse), 31if the men of my tent have not said, 'Who is there that has not been filled with his meat?' 32(the sojourner has not lodged in the street; I have opened my doors to the traveler), 33if I have concealed my transgressions as others do by hiding my iniquity in my bosom, 34because I stood in great fear of the multitude, and the contempt of families terrified me, so that I kept silence, and did not go out of doors-- 35Oh, that I had one to hear me! (Here is my signature! Let the Almighty answer me!) Oh, that I had the indictment written by my adversary! 36Surely I would carry it on my shoulder; I would bind it on me as a crown; 37I would give him an account of all my steps; like a prince I would approach him.

38"If my land has cried out against me and its furrows have wept together, 39if I have eaten its yield without payment and made its owners breathe their last, 40let thorns grow instead of wheat, and foul weeds instead of barley."

The words of Job are ended.

ESV

2005-06-25T05:38:00.000-07:00

See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
and his arm rules for him.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?
Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?
Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

Isaiah 40:10-15

invisible boogers

2005-06-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

It’s been a booger of a time. Pardon the bad attempt at making a joke. You see, my little girlfriend (Andi) gave me a cold she had, the end of last week. When she originally got it, she was quite the little whiner. Being the “tough” boyfriend I am [Sidenote: whenever I say boyfriend, now there’s this association I make with Sqeaker, the live-in boyfriend cat of Andi’s cat Carmel, who got her pregnant and happens to be her brother. Cat soap-operas, I know. Also I should state: No! In no way is Andi possibly pregnant, unless you can get pregnant from holding hands, or my sister. End sidenote]. I decided getting a cold wasn’t that big of a deal and we hung out anyway. Well, now it’s been about a week and I still have the cold I got from her.

However, this cold has a weird side effect. It makes me think I have boogers hanging out of my nose all the time. If I’m ever in a conversation with you during this past week, I’m sure you’ve seen me rubbing my nose. It’s all a desperate attempt to clean it out so we can keep talking. The thing is, I don’t have any boogers in my nose, unless I can’t see them when I stare in the mirror. I can look and look some more in the mirror, believing from my nose (I think I can officially say it’s a liar) that there are boogers there. So I pretty much look like a cocaine snorter, always rubbing my nose. I’m not. I just have imaginary boogers in my nose that I can’t get out. If I would have known that every conversation I have would involve me violently rubbing my nose, I’m not sure I would have hung out with my little Andimal that dreaded night. So Andi, let me say, we’ll always have Paris, er… that time you gave me a cold and I began acting like I had a bad drug habbit.

What mission trips really are....

2005-06-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

To all my loyal readers, thanks for hanging in there with the Dumples. It has been an interesting time back here in Boston. I’ve been doing a lot of hanging out with my girlfriend and some time doing stuff with my other friends too. You’ll have to cut me some slack, she’s leaving for three weeks and we all know what mission trips really are… find your future spouse! At least, that’s what one of my favorite professors at school calls them. So I have to remember how cool she was before she goes and dumps the Dumple for some dude she falls in love with on the trip. I’ll miss my Andimal.

Things are good here. I’m working again, which means soon I’ll have money to get my eyes checked and my teeth cleaned. Woo hoo! I know you’re happy too. You know I thought I was the only one who hadn’t seen the dentist in a while, until I talked to one of my friends tonight who informed me that he hasn’t been to the dentist in like four or five years! Gross! I’m glad you’re married dude, she should keep you in line.

For all the readers who keep asking if the ex-girlfriend I ran into during my brother’s graduation is Leanne, the answer is no. You need to find a hobby or something. I don’t avoid her, and now I don’t think I’ll avoid any of the ex’s. It’s just too interesting to find out what happened to them.

At this point some of you are saying, “Man, does this guy have a lame post or what!?!?” All I can say is… Alright, so I remembered this story when I was talking with Andi. I was in junior high, in gym class and I had a bad cold. So I started coughing and hacked up this major loogy. I couldn’t exactly spit it out because the teacher was lecturing. So I did what any self-respecting junior high guy did, I swallowed the sucker. Or at least, I tried to swallow it. It got stuck. It was huge! So there I am choking on a snott ball I coughed up, when the teacher sees me choking. She grabs me out of the audience and starts performing the Hymleck maneuver on me. Everyone is stunned. I remember watching their faces, I mean what else are you going to do when someone’s punching you in the stomach? The problem was that I wasn’t REALLY choking on it. At least I didn’t think so. So I tell her, “I’m not choking!” which obviously you can’t do when you’re choking. But it was hard to get out when she kept knocking the wind out of me. After it was over, she pulled me aside and told me I was lucky, when she did it on her grandpa he broke some ribs. It was one of the most awkward times I can ever remember.

So that’s the story for now. Thanks for checking in. Until next week, this is the Dumple saying, “RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

events!

2005-05-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

The move back to Boston has proved to be quite the adventure. Compared to the daily routine of life, the past three days has been a whirlwind. I was part of my friend, Matt’s wedding and many adventures sprung from that, including:
-getting yelled at at the Jolly Pirate in Waverly
-getting a ticket on the way to Kentucky (Scott did, not me)
-a wrestling match with Matt that went three rounds
-having my shorts thrown on the highway
-dancing with my girlfriend, Andrea, for the first time
-switching hotel rooms because stuff was broken

Then when I got home from the wedding on Sunday, I had approximately 3 minutes before I hopped in my car and drove to Portland for my brother’s graduation, which created weird scenarios including:
-seeing a girl who’s wedding I skipped on because I didn’t want to see another girl
-seeing the girl who I skipped the wedding for
-finding out that that girl is engaged to a much older man
-watching my brother graduate
-eating dinner with my mom and dad, together (first time since the divorce, 15 years ago)
-seeing my mom upset again

Exhausted, I returned home and early Monday, I helped my sister move out of her place, which led to:
-moving her stuff to my place
-moving her stuff to my dad’s place in Portland
-going to a cookout with Andi’s friends and my sister
-hanging out with my homeless sister for a while, until she had a home again
-swinging with Andi at the park
-talking with Andi

Oh, in addition to all that, for the days leading up to the chaos, I was preparing my talk for Crusade, which went well I think, almost immediately upon returning home from an Emmaus walk, which was on the heals of moving out of my place in Kentucky. I haven’t slept 8 hours straight in a long time, but I’m not complaining, it’s been good stuff. Maybe tonight. I think I’m going to go read a book and relax.

will post on monday

2005-05-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

hey. it's been crazy busy. i'm writing a talk for Cru tomorrow night, and getting ready to head to Matt's wedding. i'll post lata.

Exam Week in Wilmore

2005-05-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

I thought I would drop in and leave a quick post. I'm in mid-week of exams here. By God's grace I'll be able to drive back safely on Thursday to Portland. I'm diggin' the beats of Anberlin while I prepare my last paper in Spiritual Warfare. Tomorrow I'll take my Greek exam. Wew, let me just say, it's been quite a trip learning Greek. Her birthday is coming up soon, any ideas on what I should get her? (Grins) If something really weird happens in the next couple days, I'll throw it down. For all you in Dayton, I'll be up Monday. Hopefully I'll be workin' Tuesday. Peace out my homies.

fish

2005-05-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

Andi, Scott, Matt, Tamara and Nick thought I needed fish. Since having them, I've decided some things, Let me share:

1. Being lazy makes fish sick
The rest of these will expanding on 1 (maybe)
2. Being lazy means I try to pour in just the right amount of fish food
3. As I dump in mass quantities of fish food, I end up creating more work for myself
4. The fish and I end up fighting over who's going to do the clean up job on the excess food
5. Jose and Fred like to eat so much they have to puke to eat more
6. Watching them puke their dinner, makes me laugh
7. When they puke the water gets dirtier
8. Stinkin' fish water stinks
9. Stinkin' fish water has to be changed a lot
10. Stinkin' friends bought me stinkin' fish, which is stinkin' funny
11. Although they've both eaten so much that they are puking, they fight over the scraps that they haven't tried to shovel down
12. Fish pukin' reminds me of Campo, McClure, Lenardz drinkin' milk at Horstman's party
13. These fish act like I don't feed them three times a day, pigs.
14. Fish have boring lives
15. When fish try to eat the plastic plant, I wonder if they are getting high off the air pump
16. How in the stinkin' world does the water get dirty in three days! Three!
17. I don't think I'll have to buy sucker fish

Emotions?

2005-05-08T19:52:00.000-07:00

A common misperception among us as Christians is that feelings don’t matter. There is an old adage that goes, “Facts, Faith, Feelings” where “Feelings” are optional. This does apply to the truth of the Gospel. It applies to science as well, it doesn’t really matter how much I want to believe that gravity doesn’t exist, or how I feel about it, it’s still here.

However, somehow at times I am guilty of taking this to another level. I come to be callous to my feelings. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes feelings get all mixed up like my Etch-a-sketch, but if I’m feeling sad or distant from people, it’s a warning sign that something could be wrong. At times I am guilty of the self-mutilation for the sake of others. While it may sound noble, it’s highly destructive and in many cases not in keeping with God’s will.

Let me give an example, what if I decide that I need to help people, so I go running around downtown and rescuing people from fires, walking old ladies across streets and counseling people. However, in the process I decide I can do more work if I don’t eat lunch, or dinner. In fact, I decide I don’t need to eat at all, that way I can do more good. I would be doing good couple of hours but soon (I don't have a lot in the reserve tank), I’d be hurtin’ pretty bad. By neglecting my needs, I’d be able to do more “ministry” temporarily, but I’d be hurting my “ministry” in the long term. In fact, I would be much better off if I took time and ate healthy meals regularly, then I would be better equipped to help people more!

The same applies when we neglect our family, our basic needs like sleep, exercise, time with God and time for some relaxation. Further, our emotional health is very important. If you’re not listening to what your emotions are saying, you may be missing what God is telling you about yourself. It’s like driving your car down the highway looking for billboards that your gas tank is empty, when if you would just look at the dashboard (which a brilliant engineer put there for just such a purpose) you would know!

More lessons that I should have learned before I got to seminary! On that note, I’m starting a regular exercise schedule to help keep my body a fine-tuned God-directed ma-chine.

In other news, Andi came down for the weekend. We had a blast and I laughed my rear off. Girlfriends can be fun! And my sister Dawn made an apperance today. It was cool. Even if I do commit academic suicide. In the end, I'm glad I was able to hang out with two cool girls in one weekend.

2005-05-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

beth and matt painting.

Wooden Jesus

2005-04-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

So my girlfriend tells me that my blog is really boring and I never say anything good. Here’s something you’ll really like. I moved this big wooden Jesus across campus. He was really heavy. I wonder what God thinks about us carving wooden images of him? Does it bother him that most everyone on campus refers to it as ‘Jesus’ and people give him high fives, smack him on the butt and say stuff like, “Good game, Jesus” because honestly, to me, I would be ready to throw down the fireballs. Sure it’s a statue, but I’m still not sure why we need one and why everyone feels free to make fun of it, absolutely it’s not really God, but to act out scenes where God, who doesn’t react, is the joke… Somewhere I either missed the boat (it wouldn’t hurt that I’m an Engineer) or it just isn’t funny.

Calvin

2005-04-27T06:20:00.000-07:00

One of my buddies at school is studying Calvin. It's interesting stuff, here's an email he just sent me. Note: I'm trying to seperate Calvin from the Calvinism that came after him, if there is a difference.

Thought you might find this interesting. I was reading in the institutes were it spoke of God's attributes pre-existing before creation. So parts of the Institute seem to point for election coming out of God's foreknowledge. BUT I found where Calvin says the exact oposite out of his commentary on Malachi.
"As we have said, there is no real difference among men, except in their hidden election. Some theologians would make foreknowledge the mother of election, and that very foolishly and childishly. They say that some men are chosen and others rejected by God, because God, from whom nothing is hidden, foresees of what sort each man will be. But I ask, Whence comes virtue to one and vice to the other? If they say, " From free will," surely creation was before free will. This is one point. Besides, we know that all men were created alike in the person of Adam. . . . And what does this mean except that the condition of all who come from the one root is the same?"
Anyhow obviously this seems to be counter to what I said last night. I don't know man. Calvin is confusing. He says one thing then goes right around and says the exact opposite. Then again he did change alot. Each edition of the institutes is vastly different from the previous. Heck he was branded twice with 2 version of the institutes got him the label as an Arian. Go figure. But hey he does take the subordination view of the trinity. I am going to keep working this thing out. But honestly man Calvin is so flip floppy it is so hard to tell where he stands. Especially since his theologies changes in almost everything he writes.
What seems to be the jist so far is that in Calvin, God may or may not have known whom he would elect but apparently he foreknew that he would preordain individuals at creation (the issue here is then is it at the moment of their birth or is it at the moment of actual creation).
Here are some quotes from Calvin that are interesting:
"We say, then, that Scripture clearly proves this much, that God by his eternal and immutable counsel determined once for all those whom it was his pleasure one day to admit to salvation, and those whom, on the other hand, it was his pleasure to doom to destruction. We maintain that this counsel, as regards the elect, is founded on his free mercy, without any respect to human worth, while those whom he dooms to destruction are excluded from access to life by a just and blameless, but at the same time incomprehensible judgment." (Institutes of Christian Religion, Book 3, Chapter 21, Section 7)
"distinguishes among men according as he foresees what the merits of each will be"(Inst. III, 22, 1)
"by thus covering election with a veil of foreknowledge, they not only obscure it but feign that it has its origin elsewhere"(Inst. III, 22, 1).

Membership

2005-04-18T18:09:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo! Membership!

Back in November, I started the process to become a member of my church after visiting the other seminary I highly respect, Beeson Divinity School. They convicted me that if I was so excited about my church, I should stop hesitating and start the process to become a member. So I did. Early in January I was invited to my pastor's house. I turned in my application, and then later was interviewed. This past Sunday they officially welcomed me into the church as a member! I'm amped.

Women in Ministry: A Quest

2005-04-13T22:19:00.000-07:00

Well, after almost a full six months, I'm back at it again. I'm going to study the Egalitarian and Complementarian views. Gross. Obviously I have an opinion, we all do, but I'm going to look at the differing sides again. It's a hard thing to be objective about, but I do want to listen carefully and understand both sides. It seems to merit a lot of my time, but that's ok, we are talking about one of the most heated debates among Christians today. Besides, if I'm wrong, I'm hurting a lot of my sisters and quenching the Spirit of God, simultaneously!

Thankfully, I have a much better grip on the Greek now, and have encountered enough non-objective professors, in person! I desire to listen well to what God is saying to me, I hope I do it well. I ask for your prayers.

a collector

2005-04-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

I am a collector. I’ve been one since I was little. I’ve collected everything under the sun from baseball cards to old shoes, from awards to old batteries. As I get older, I am realizing the things I collected don’t satisfy. These ‘things’ that I have held onto are mere objects, zapped of their magic I’ve tried to capture. Some symbolize my childhood. They make me think of times gone past… so bittersweet.

I must confess, I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately, mostly, because I’m being reminded of it through some events God has orchestrated. It’s awe inspiring to think of dying, to realize I’m going to die. To, for a moment grasp the significance of life. It causes me to realize the value of ‘things’, objects, to contemplate their worthless. It makes me realize how useless most knowledge is. Even relationships come into full view.

I am realizing that I am a relationship collector. All this time, I thought I was finally free of my addiction to collecting. Don’t misunderstand me. I love relationships. People are so interesting when you start to know them. To catch a glimpse of what the Creator made, is awe inspiring.

I think the problem with collecting, besides the mismanagement of resources, is that the collector collects with the intention of enjoying, but finds themselves rather addicted to hording instead of the enjoying. There is greed that seeps in and it drains the enjoying out, replacing it with a sludge that we drink deeply, without remorse. And then, when it sits in our bellies we ache, and ache.

I’m tried of collecting. I wish I could tell you that I won’t be collecting anymore, that I will be enjoying what I have instead. I am asking God to help me remember my priorities. If I enjoy God, that will be enough. My desire will be drown in a river of fresh water, water that will not be like the sludge I drink so daily. If I enjoy God, I will enjoy people. I will enjoy relationships. I will enjoy love. I will enjoy peace. I will enjoy patience. I will enjoy joy! I will enjoy kindness! I will enjoy faithfulness! I will enjoy gentleness! I will enjoy self-control.

Oh God, help me to live in you, to enjoy what my soul has always desired.

retirement

2005-04-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

I retired my secret blog, bringing over two posts I enjoyed and leaving the rest lost in cyberspace. I'm going to change up the content a bit, it will probably slide over to more church related issues in general and continue stupid stories I remember about life on occasion.

salt?

2005-04-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

Are we as American Christians being the salt we’re called to be? It’s a hard question to answer, I know. Every time I return to the suburbs where my family lives I find myself facing the reality of middle-class Christianity. Should every family be on ‘the mission field’ and what defines what a ‘mission field’ is? What level of income is necessary for us to live at? What do we ‘need’ and what constitutes wants? Is this is different from person to person, based on what God requires of us or should we all be living less comfortably than we live? Do I need a new computer? Do I need a nice guitar, a tv, video games, a large house? What is a large house? Do I need the latest fashions? Should I support missionaries whose work is here in America, or should I use the money to feed people in other countries, or should I support missionaries overseas? Should I support American missionaries overseas or should I support natives who need support? Does God want me to give to Para church organizations or to work through my church despite its deficiencies in hopes that if everyone gave to their church, the church would reform how it uses its money? Should I consider car-pooling when I travel? What about buying products at Wal-Mart that have been made by child-labor even if it means that I have less money to give to Christian organizations? Can we take vacations? What is a sufficient amount for churches to spend on their building, decoration, staff, location, advertising? Should we buy Christian music or should we share it freely? Should Christians make profit on books? Should more Christians go overseas and help in needy areas?

MKs

2005-04-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

I talked with a MK (missionary's kid) and learned about his life at a missionary boarding school. He told me about his friends and how they turned out. It wasn't uplifting. They weren't really able to spend time with their parents in large quantities. His friends all at best were nominal Christians who are utterly disenfranchised with Christiandom. In reality they show no fruits of Christianity by their lifestyles, now. He prays for them. He’s struggling too. I do fear that many who come to seminary are struggling. I don’t mean having battles where we make war on our sin. I mean flat out questioning everything about being a Christian. I know we are quick to point fingers. These MKs came from across the denominational lines, from Baptist to Methodist. I know even the church I attend requires boarding school for their MKs, and probably a similar fate.What kind of witness is it to the world when our kids are being destroyed, when we tell others about Christ love and love on them, but keep our loved ones at a distance? It’s time for a change. I don’t have all the solutions but why do we always feel that we have to send Christians into a hard country as “Lone Rangers” as it were. Why not send communities of say ten families to a country and start a local schooling program? Invite the native children of the area to come too. It seems that for too long we’ve become sterilized. We’ve separated ministry with outsiders from our ministry to our families. It is quite ridiculous. I’m guessing a reason they don’t allow children to stay with their parents is due to security risks. Are we really counting the cost? I would rather raise a family in a persecuted area as a family then send my children away as though they are not mine. Then again I’m not a parent. I can’t help but see the negative consequences as real nonetheless.

a hot summer day

2005-03-21T15:28:00.000-08:00

I’ve avoided blogging for a while, much to the chagrin of some of my readers. When you don’t remember anything good to write about, it’s just best not to post. Today I remembered a good story however, so it’s time to share.

It was a hot summer day, back in the mid-80s and I was riding my bike up and down the street. Many kids are allowed to ride their bike in the street, however, I was not one of them. I was chastened to the sidewalk, on which I was allowed to ride, as long as I could see my house and was on the same side of the street. I agree, my parents didn’t let me do anything cool, but I was the first child and that usually means you have to experience the extreme boundaries of parents and carve the path for the next kids. Anyway, so there I was riding up and down the street.

Now my street happened to be situated on a small hill. I would pump up it and then coast on the way down. Just to give you an idea of how pathetic we’re talking, I would ride to the far edge of my neighbor’s driveway turn around and coast to two houses down.

It was a hot, extremely hot day and I was burning up. I luckily was wearing my Cincinnati Reds ball cap (go Reds!) which was providing some shade for my head but not a whole lot. I began to get this killer headache. I found that if I would close my eyes, it would somewhat go away. Then I had the idea of a lifetime, I decided to ride down the hill with my eyes closed. I had peddled up the hill with my eyes closed for Pete’s sake! Down the hill I went, picking up speed, more and more as I continued down the street. Then I heard a, “BAM!” which was shortly followed by a weightless feeling as I for an instant began to float off by bike. Was I flying? Was I somehow magically transported to another time and place?!?!?! And then, my face came to rest on its final destination, the neighbor’s car. Now, I knew at this point that I had made a miscalculation. I had forgotten that the neighbor parked their yellow compact car slightly out past the sidewalk.

You can’t really cry when you have made a complete fool out of yourself and no one seems to be around, even if you are seven. I mean, what if someone heard you cry and then came out to see what happened, only to find that you’ve smashed yourself into a parked car?!?!?! I did what any self-respecting seven year old would do, I fled the scene, bike and all and decided I was done riding for the day.

2005-03-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

kentucky roadkill, it comes in many flavors, but everyone prefers skunk!

I can't seem to see enough skunks on the side of the road on the way to church. Granted, it is about the only time I leave Wilmore when the light of day is shinning. I gotta say, you would expect to see a possum, or a deer or something, but all that I ever see are skunks and lots of them. I'm not sure if skunks are the only thing wild animals won't eat, and I use the term 'wild animals' loosely, you could include some of the wilder Kentucky folk animals, or even my friend Andi, although I don't think she'd touch roadkill with a ten foot pole much less take it off the side of the road and eat it. One thing I am sure of though, unlike my old home of Dayton, we don't have any squirrels around here. Then again, when I lived in Dayton, I only knew one guy who would dare eat them. I'm thinking that a good friday night adventure would be to drive around and collect roadkill into my buddies pickup and dump a big pile of them somewhere, or maybe that's just gross.

“Bring it” got brought it

2005-03-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

I signed up to play the assassin game one or two weeks ago, I can’t remember which, time doesn’t seem to move linearly anymore, it’s more like some morphic oozing wormhole thing. Anyway, I signed up but instead of just writing my name, Ben Douglass, I had to be me, you know a little arrogant, a little spicy, so I put, Ben “Bring it” Douglass down. So from that point forward people who signed up on the sheet in the student center would walk by and say things like, “What’s up ‘Bring it’ Ben Douglass?” I would laugh and we would do the dumb college thing and slap five or hit the rock or something. Well the game commenced on Monday night at 6pm. I survived the night handily and was surviving the morning without much trouble.

Then I went to chapel. The speaker was probably the most untrained and painful to hear speaker I’ve heard in a long time. First, he liked to say things like, “You know” and “Right” more times than he actually filled his talk with meaningful words that make up real sentences. Second, instead of following a logical progression, he just rambled about whatever seemed to be on his mind. Third, he didn’t help us tie his personal experiences or someone’s experiences in depth to a small passage. In fact, he didn’t meditate on a passage of Scripture (a pet-peeve of mine). I’m not talking about reading a chapter, I mean I enjoy it when they really explain a few verses. Wait, I’m way off topic…. So he did have good content, he just didn’t know how to present it, I wish he would have asked someone for help. The content was good in a bad way. He shared with us about how where he works people are being mutilated by their government, how people are being used and destroyed, how vilely sinful the world really is. When you live in a great country like we do, and really it is great compared to the atrocities that are happening across this world, you tend to forget how bad life is elsewhere and how little Christians here are doing anything about it. So I’m walking out of chapel very sober. I forget about the dumb game. Inside I’m just mulling over the pain and the suffering and talking it over with my friend. I’m within five feet of the door I need to get in before I am safe in the game. I’m standing there waiting for the crowds to enter into the next building and then it happens.

Mark, my assassin comes out of the building, I’m not really paying attention to him, and shoots me. Instantly I’m transported back to Lexington, KY. Yeah, I’m playing some dumb game with a whole bunch of people in a peaceful area. It made me frustrated on many levels. I don’t know what I’m suppose to do to help as a guy who feels called to be here, now. My professor said something interesting in the class following lunch, he said, “The ministry of Jesus Christ is directed primarily to the Father, not to the needs of the world.” Very profound. I know God is concerned about his creation, his people, his loved ones. However, our ministry is to be directed primarily to the Father. He’ll point us where we need to go.

I totally missed the point I was going for. Here it is: I got shot. The real first day of the game. Like a sucka, I was taken out. I think it was because I wrote Ben “Bring it” Douglass instead of Ben Douglass. God wins again! One of these days, I'm not going to talk trash. I'll probably be dead... but it'll happen. I said "Bring it", Oh how He brought it.

Assassin

2005-02-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

I don’t know if ya’ll have heard of this one, but someone here at seminary obviously had. What you do is grab a whole bunch of your friends, and maybe even a few you don’t know too well, and write down everyone’s name. You make these into cards, and then shuffle them up. Everyone has a mini-squirt gun and will be given a hit list. Over the course of a few days you are to “assassinate” the people on your list. When you make your hit (squirt them with the water gun) then you get their assassination list. Whoever has the most at the end of the set time period, or gets them all, wins.

Our game will start next week. I’ll keep you posted…. It was worth a mid-week update.

a coffee shop experience

2005-02-20T20:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to a concert at the coffee shop on campus (Solomon’s Porch - ATS). When I say I went to the concert, it was more like my buddies and I went to get some coffee and read, when a concert broke out. I don’t know what it is about coffee shops but many times when there’s a white guy with a guitar there solo you can bet he’ll be singing out of key, and this guy was no exception. I think maybe the microphone projects your guitar/voice so loud that somehow they’re just not able to hear themselves. He sang some interesting songs, such as ones by Guns’n’Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Billy Joel, Jimmy Buffet, and a Christmas song about shooting his puppy with rabies in the head. I tried not to listen to all of his terrible (out of key) songs, but sometimes when you know them, you can’t help but pay attention half-heartedly. The song about his puppy with rabies was especially gripping. No matter how much I told myself to read Os Guinness, I found myself listening to the sad song about how he blew his puppies brains out on Christmas. It was pretty much the worst (however, unfortunately funny) song I’ve ever heard someone sing. It was quite obvious that he was a college student. Sorry college students, but you’re immature, and that’s coming from one of the most immature (at times) seminary student east of the Mississippi. Thankfully it will be his last appearance in Wilmore, although he said while at the microphone that he’s done 9 shows, in Michigan, Indiana and here in Kentucky. He does deserve some props for being courageous enough to play 9 shows! The crowd disappeared somewhere soon after the puppy song. I wish I could have taped it. It was the funniest, worst song I’ve heard, bar-none.

takin’ communion

2005-02-14T18:10:00.000-08:00

Last Tuesday down here at school they took communion at the chapel. I’ve taken communion many times, so this should be a short story. They broke the bread and talked about the meaning of each of the items. Then they said and I quote, “When you’re ready to receive the communion come forward.” I had spent some time praying before chapel, and I knew I was ready to receive it, so I hopped out of the pew and headed down. Not until I was standing in line did I realize that they were dismissing people by rows. I was sitting in the last row to be dismissed, so when I came forward I had to face everyone who was still waiting to be dismissed to take it. I felt like a genius. This is what happens when you stick a non-Methodist in a Methodist communion service, I mess it all up!

appointment

2005-02-06T21:46:00.000-08:00

I had a divine appointment today. The kind you remember far into the future. When working at Orientation, they passed out cards and we were given people to pray for. I prayed for my dude, and then felt compelled to continue praying for him. The next day he arrived and I heard him say his name to a person at the table next to me. I was busy at the time, but I recognized it instantly and then when I was free, I introduced myself. I ran into him multiple times from then till today. Tonight while at the Superbowl party, I felt restless, so I left it and went back to the dorms. Yeah, I know, I took a lot of crap for leaving. When I arrived back at the dorms, I felt like I was to go find him and invite him to the party. I went up to his floor, and found his room without any trouble. I didn’t knock on his door or anything, I just waited. I know it is weird, but I knew he would come out. Sure enough, he came out of his room and I invited him to come to the party. He agreed to come without persuasion. As we were walking over to the party I find out his background a bit. He’s a Baptist, a rarity on a Wesleyan campus. He felt guided by the Holy Spirit to come to ATS. We talked a bit more; it was good to hear where he was coming from. After we arrived, he met up with some guys and I knew I could take off, so I did.

I know it’s a pretty weird story. I guess why I share it is because it was one of those times when you just know what you’re suppose to do. I can’t really explain it any other way. I love ‘em and had to share this latest one. If you’re not convinced, I don’t blame you. You had to be me in the moment to understand probably.

republicans

2005-02-01T14:12:00.000-08:00

if the republicans here keep ranting, i may end up a democrat. people here don't get up until 10:30! sick. going to study greek tonight. the fish are doing ok, one died, it was little timmy. i think he choked on the water. hope ya'll are doing well.

leaving dayton

2005-01-31T21:46:00.000-08:00

I write this entry on the night before I leave Dayton. Eerily I recall earlier a conversation from earlier today. A friend said to me, “We won’t miss you, but you might miss us.” I haven’t even started packing and yet I’m sad. They say that home is where your heart is. If that’s the case, I can understand why it saddens me so to leave. When you have to move your home, in a weird way you have to move your heart too. We thrive on change, we love new things. Yet, part of us loves the beauty of the way things are. It reminds me of being a kid. I wanted to be just like dad, I had a little plastic lawn mower that shot out bubbles. I would push it all around the yard trying desperately hard to be like him. Still, I enjoyed being a kid and playing in the sandbox for hours, painting with my fingers and playing with our puppy in the backyard. I’ve been saying goodbye to my friends here in Dayton over the course of the weekend. In some of the relationships here, I find that we’ve moved apart. Time has worn the commonalities that held us so close together into a fine thread that now seems stretched. In other relationships, the first pages of our adventures as friends are starting, as a good book that you’ve just finished the intro to. Still, in other relationships it is as though nothing changed at all. Amazingly in these relationships it is as though we’ve never aged.

So I sit at the dinning table and remember the past weeks, the anticipations, the fears, the joys, laughter, sorrows and silences. It is sad in general. I’m going to miss the people I work with, the people I play with, the roommate I fart with. The people I share life with. Then I think about the future at hand. Life doesn’t end at death. For some, their rejection of God will be bitterly more sorrowful than anything experienced on earth. For others, their acceptance of God will bring the abundance even more fully than experienced here. I am trying to cherish the relationships and opportunities I do have here. To savor the life that God has given us. He never asked us to numb ourselves, only to sacrifice that which would take our joy from us. The price has seemed too high for many. They walk away clinging to their rusting skates, buying into the lie, unwilling to trust the only one who can save them from themselves. I too want to cling to my rusty skates, but I know I can’t. I press forward, enjoying that which I was blessed to receive while here. I press forward, knowing full well that loving God must always stay my true wellspring of life. I press forward, finding more of God’s blessing lying ahead. Maybe even my old skates. Maybe even in better condition. Or maybe God will do something completely different. Whatever He should chose, my life is His to use.

Braces

2005-01-20T17:53:00.000-08:00

well, i don't have much. honestly, i'm losing the blogging bug. i'm sorry. my latest inspiration is andi's braces....

What rocks my face off about braces:

1) Braces come with a special storage feature that allows you to eat food and store them there in your braces to “eat” later! Mmmmmm… leftovers….

2) Braces increase bad breath which aids in repelling robbers and weird stalkers.

3) 28 rubber bands. Do I need to say anymore?

4) Rap artists each have a few pieces of metal in their mouth. When you put on the braces you’re like your own rap group!

5) Chewing gum becomes an art.

6) If you threaten to bite someone, they are more likely to be intimidated.

7) It is rumored that you can pick up radio stations if you turn just right.

8) You get to carry around thousands of dollars and don’t have to worry about anyone stealing it!

9) Spiting food at friends is fun! Who doesn’t love spitting pizza all over your buddy? Braces let you get away with it.

10) Your mom and dad will love you more.

A Happy New Year

2005-01-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

It was New Year Eve of 1994. My family and I had returned from our trip to Grandma & Grandpa’s in Medina, Ohio. Grandma had insisted that we returned home with some of her soon to be world famous cookies. We told her that she didn’t have to send an entire tin of cookies home with us, but secretly we hoped she wouldn’t take us up on it. Back home in Cincinnati, we all were in the habit of eating some of Grandma’s cookies “unannounced”, also known as sneaking cookies. See, we are greedy little Gollum-like beings when it comes to her cookies. Yes, my precious. We won’t share you with the little hobbits. All mine. HmmHmm!

Anyway, we were in business of sneaking them to make sure we ate more than our fair share of the cookies. I was being a master of disguise, I mean even Mirage from G.I. Joe wouldn’t know I was hitting the cookies. I was good. Now New Year’s Eve was near the time of our return from Grandma’s so the tin started almost full. I would sneak two or three at a time, making frequent stops into the kitchen. By around 8pm or so, I was hitting the bottom of the tin. I finished them off with great precision, once again proving to all people that not only could I be a master of disguise and greedier than the little hobbits, but I could also pack’em away.

I started getting hot. I mean really hot. Maybe it was the sugar rush. Maybe it was the sour cream in one of the varieties of cookie balls. Maybe it was the guilt when I got caught eating the last cookie. Maybe I simply ate too much. Whatever it was, I was not feeling very well. I remember sitting on the couch and feeling oh so sick. Then it hit me. I got up and made a B-line for the bathroom. I was moving at a pretty good clip, I was only one turn away from facing the toilet and then it happened. A cookie extravaganza! I mean all your favorite colors and favors made a second appearance. We had reds, greens and browns as well as raspberry, sugar sprinkles, peppermint and chocolate! Wow! If only I had the tin nearby. I did one better though, I missed the toilet and painted wall with a blend of spices that would make anyone’s stomach turn. As the little hobbits, my siblings will tell you, indeed it took the paint off the wall.

Every Christmas I have to hear about this story. It’s like one of my family’s great traditions.

A smooth move

2005-01-06T17:38:00.000-08:00

I went swing dancing last night (don't ever call it swinging, I was warned at work today that was something different). I realized my feet don't know what swing dancing is. They were completely confused. I think my right foot kept thinking we were going to do some kind of ballroom dancing, ok it was more like concreted to the floor and my hands kept thinking we were going to either do the robot or do some funky rapper moves. I wore my red shoes, the ladies seemed to like them. They told me so. I met some cool people, ok so they were girls, all except Josh and some dude who wanted to talk about nothing and was able to waste a good 15 minutes I was going to use dancing with the girls... The ladies were very gracious and put up with my terrible ability to swing dance. I do mean terrible. But, I have been practicing. That's where the smooth move comes in. See I was practicing my moves at work in the hallway. I had just done some ‘push the girl’ move and then pulled the door open (imagining that I was actually pulling the girl's hand back towards me). Well, on the other side of the door there was this guy reading a magazine in a chair. I could tell I startled him and I think he thought for a split second he saw me dancing. That is until I pulled a smooth move. I did some kind of John Travolta walk immediately and walked away quickly. So instead of looking like a complete idiot, I looked like a moron trying to walk goofy. But, now you know I was being an idiot and that’s probably better somehow.

Today I also gave my presentation that I've been working on for months now... I was all set to head out to work, the car was all loaded up when I realized I didn't have my badges. I checked my coat (that I was wearing), my car, my room, the kitchen, the living room, the dinning room, and then I got desperate so I checked the garbage, the bathroom, the refrigerator (who knows where I could have put them down), Matt’s pickup, my room again, the kitchen again, the living room again my coat four more times, the spare bedroom, I called work and asked Adam and then Eric if they had seen them (of course not) and then I realized I was in big trouble. Yeah, big trouble. God came through, I moved Matt’s coat on one of the chairs to reveal anther coat that looked just like mine… Huh, wait… It was mine! I was wearing Matt’s coat! That’s why the badges weren’t in the pocket where I left them. I hopped in my car and went to work. I also had to add a slide to my presentation when I got there. I finished adding the slide and then the client walked in for the presentation to start. Now that’s what I call God providing. And yes, I was flipping out in a calm way.

Oh, here is a picture of my shoes, by request for all the ladies out there. Peace.

dead sexy.

Nashville

2004-12-30T13:58:00.000-08:00

Howdy ya'll from Nashville, TN. Brown got this pimped out business trip and took Nye and myself down. We're staying in a sweet hotel that has a seperate room with couches, a desk and tv and then of course the bedroom with two twins and the couch folds out to a bed.

Brown had to work today so he gave us the car. I was backing the Blazer in the parking garage when I heard this crunch. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw the back end in a concrete pillar. I parked it and saw a big dent in the bumper. I was buggin out. You know it's not everyday that you beat your buddy's car up.

We (Nick and I) had planned on washing his car and cleaning it up to serve Brown. Then after I knocked his bumper out of wack, all the good we had planned to do for Brown now looked like we were laying it on thick. Brown's car was gross. He had everything from rotting crap on a butterknife to pink scrunchies thrown all over his car. And just for the record, McDonald's french fries don't rot. After we vaccummed it and washed it, we went to the mall. This is going to sound lame, but we got a great deal on some pimped out shoes at the mall and we picked up Brown a pair too, so we all had pimped out shoes.... Yeah, now it really sounds like I was trying to lay it on thick. But I wasn't.... Honest.

We picked up Brown from work when he was done. He shrugged it off when I told him. Obviously, I thought it was odd. Real odd, but I was thankful and was glad to let it go. REAL GLAD. He let me simmer for a while then told me that the dent was already in the bumper. The freakin' dent was already there! Already there! Unbelievable! Now it looks like I was trying to suck up. There's no way to make this look good. Props to Brown, you're a punk.

It's cold outside...

2004-12-20T17:11:00.000-08:00

It’s so cold outside penguins are asking if they can stay in the garage. It’s so cold outside Canadian geese have gone south. It’s so cold outside ice cubes are wear sweaters. I mean it is cold.

I have to thank my Bengals for their athleticism this past weekend. Normally they look like they have a chance of winning so I watch at least part of the game. This past weekend however, they lost straight out of the box, proving that we’re the second worst team in the NFL, only outdone by the Browns, and they’re going to have a new coach next year.

I’m sure all the guys out there are still looking to complete their shopping for the holidays. Women tell me it’s because we procrastinate so much. I have a different theory. Men hate shopping. We hate it so much we’ll do just about anything to not do it. By anything, I mean we’ll do anything that’s more entertaining, such as watching tv, playing video games (another form of watching tv), working on our computers (another form of watching something tv like), watching movies (watching tv), and sleeping (yet another form of watching tv). Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone should do things besides watching tv, but in general that’s what most middle class Americans seem to do with their free time. Even I myself on break find that I’m drawn to the picture box. I think it’s a scary thing when people spend so much time looking at a box. What will we think when we’re about to die? Will we be glad that we watched so much? Will we feel that we had no choice in the matter? I understand, sometimes I feel trapped and doomed to watch it somehow. I think in part I’ve become Pavlov’s dog. I think of relaxing and almost immediately watching tv comes to mind. It’s weird but too true for me. Woah, that’s a rant…. anyway, Guys, remember Walgreens is just down the street and if you hurry now it’s probably not busy, but don’t wait until Friday, because then even Kmart will be packed. And remember, we’re forgetting the real meaning of Christmas.