For Andy Brown…

Apparently my good buddy (GB) Andy Brown (AB) checks my blog everyday. Sure, I thought my girlfriend was the only one stalking me, but apparently I have stalkers of the same gender too. This story goes out to AB.

It was the night before my good buddy Aaron Shaf. was getting married and a bunch of us guys were hanging out at AB’s uncle’s house. In attendance were the two now famous stars, Nick Nye (the Nick Nye that’s recording in Louisville) and Lenny Tavernelli (who stars as the native in his new movie: End of the Spear). Anyway, we’re eating Sloppy Joes and lots of chips, drinkin’ root beer, rippin’ some bad gas, and playing video games. Someone, I can’t tell you who, but if I had to pick someone I would say Nye, decides we should wrestle. We pair off and people take turns. First up, Nye verses Brown. AB pretty much doesn’t touch Nye, while Nick decides to go animal on AB. Then AB turns up the heat and Nye blows out his knee. We grab ice from the kitchen and he’s done.

Now most of you would think that would stop the wrestling for the night, I mean, we’ve already had an injury. Here’s the thing, Nye is a faker. You can’t tell when he’s really hurt and when he’s faking it or when he’s just milking it for attention. We figured it was bad, but no one really knew how bad it was till much later when he had to have surgery on it.

Next up, Lenny verses myself. Now I’m quite a bit taller than Lenny which should give me some advantage, but Lenny is built like a tank. The result, we were standing up for like ever, no one could really get the other to go down. Besides I think we were both taking it easy, we didn’t want to end up icing something next to Nye. Anyway, in a bold move, I did something and Lenny starts to go down, but he’s not going down forward, he’s flying backwards. He used an atomic kick on me, somewhere between my legs. I yelled, “Solider Down!” as I collapsed to the ground in agonizing pain. I crawled over to the couch and sat next to Nye.

At this point you would surly think the other two wouldn’t be wrestling, but sure enough they decided to go at it. It was Matt Martin verses Mike Halpin. Mike is about half the man Martin is, weight wise. They get to actually wrestling, making sure neither of them ends up like me. Then Martin uses a “Gator” roll on Halpin. It was quick and looked painful. Halpin also was injured like myself. He crawled to the couch and sat next to myself and Nye. We shared the package of ice between us, passing it back and forth. Believe it or not, it actually helps a lot.

What I learned from all this is skinny guys shouldn’t pair off with ape shaped men in wrestling matches, sure chess wouldn’t be bad, nor video games, but when we’re talking wrestling, a couple shots placed carefully can take a solider down. And knowing is half the battle. Go Joe!

Mom Awards

Everyone should be thanked for what they do, no doubt. This past week has been trying to my patience. You see, I’m at home helping my dad do things, since he’s recovering from his neck surgery. It means I can’t really leave the house, I have to always do things at the drop of a hat, and do annoying things at that, like help my dad put on his socks, clean up dog puke, shake the shaving cream, let the dog out, do the dishes, do the laundry, run errands for him, etc. It seems to be illusory to think I’ll be able to get my homework done while I’m here over break. When things slow down, it’s after dinner, way after dinner usually. Who wants to do homework then? I want a break for crying out loud.

It’s got me thinking about moms. Now don’t get me wrong, dads work their tail off at the office and are pooped when they get home, but I think moms aren’t getting off easy themselves. It’s a practice of humility every day, making themselves a servant for others who aren’t able to do simple things for themselves. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to take care of teenagers! My dad tells me how to do everything from proper steps of cleaning up puke to how to make his sandwich for him. I think I would go crazy if some little pipsqueak decided at the age of 14 that they knew how to do my job better and whined about everything as it was. I’m already praying for patience almost constantly as each new chore around the house comes up just as I was ready to take a break.

I think we should consider mom awards. You know, give your mom some kind of award for the hard work she does. I think they should come in multiple levels. The first and most basic would be thanking your mom randomly as she does the daily tasks. The second level would be random days where she gets some relief from doing her tasks, maybe more systemized. The last level should be mom vacations, hey, they give them in the work world, but even on vacations moms are usually kid managing. This might look like a family vacation where dad is responsible for keeping track of the little/teenagers. And last but not least, every mom should be given a car and given some time away from the house, I’m going stir crazy and I get to walk the dog every day.

I would also blow up television. Even when I’m tempted to watch it during the day nothing is on. Nothing. The internet is really mostly like a news/shopping mall. I’m sure that there are social groups where moms get together and hang out with other moms, let us be careful to not give them a hard time about it calling their jobs easy, everyone knows in the workforce that we sit around the water cooler every once in a while and gab it up, it’s only necessary for sustaining sanity during the daily routine. I wouldn’t doubt I’ll get hate mail from moms over this one. All I can say is, it’s only my first week!

Send me back to school!

A Dog Gone Dilemma

I’m home for the holidays in Cincinnati, taking care of my dad and his dog. Now we all know dogs have three goals in life: eating, sleeping, and playing. Champ, my dad’s dog, loves to eat, loves it more than life itself. If there’s one thing he loves more than food though, it’s walks. He loves going on walks. At first I think I was foolish enough to believe he really liked exercise, but as time has continued it has become apparent that he really wants to do his job, peeing on things. We (Champ and I) have to stop near every good bush or tree, at least to smell it and maybe to pee on it. When he finds a place he really likes, he pulls out all the stops, like Columbus when he reached the new world, like Astronauts when they reached the moon, he stops and plants his flag in the dirt, well it’s more like he leaves a happy present for someone else to find. Now here’s the question, should I bring a bag or a few to pick up his ‘presents’ or should I leave them in hopes that the winter will destroy them into oblivion?

a virus in the system

American Christianity is plagued by a virus, a virus of thought. The virus tells us that it’s ok to accept Christianity on the grounds of a philosophical system. It helps us determine what is morally acceptable. We go to church, we pray over our meals, and we spout out theological terms like it was a description of the most wonderful vacation we’d ever taken. Yet, somewhere deep in the recesses of our hearts, the virus has done its work. There is not daily, living relationship with God. It has been replaced with short prayers early in the morning and late in the evening. Our lives have been turned into a routine. We understand routines, they make sense, they keep us feeling safe. Over and over we trace the lines of our philosophical system, all the while neglecting the relationship the system was designed to function in. And we give up. Signs of life vanish in the hustle and business of life. Reflect with me, how does the relationship God is desiring in us fit with the life we’re living?

the all nighter

We’ve all done it, ok, so I’ve at least done it a few times, waited until the last minute to write the paper that will be due the next day. As I was writing my paper last night, I remember thinking, “Gee, I don’t know how this is going to get done.” Then I talked with my girlfriend, and she says, “How long have you known about this?” I sheepishly knew I shouldn’t answer that question, she knew the answer, like an episode straight out of Matlock. After our short conversation (I had a paper to write for Pete’s sake!) I went back to writing. Each sentence had to be painstakingly checked, it’s an exegesis paper which is heavy on research, and one mistranslation can send the paper in a totally new (and wrong) direction! It was about 3 am when I started feeling like I was floating. It was then I realized the level of sleep depravity had sunken to a new low, because while a few years ago 3 am might have seemed like a reasonable bedtime (when in college), now as an old man, 3 am seemed more like the “all nighter” you hear stories about. At the end of it, my typing was getting pretty incoherent. I guess that’s the beauty of it. You may think that being in grad school at a seminary would mean that we do our work well before it’s due… yeah, that is not the case, except for a few married guys who are just on the ball. And now you know, the rest of the story. I’m Ben Douglass. Good bye.

Thanksgiving was a blast

Thanksgiving break was a blast. It’s hard in the moment to realize how great things are but hindsight is great. I spent a bit of time with my girl, Andi. She always cracks me up and we had some good discussions. I spent some time with her family, they’re fun too. They are word people, what I mean by that is that they play with words and make jokes by playing on them. I beat her whole family in a game they called Swimmin’ and I almost felt bad for beating her mom, but the whole family is smart so I don’t feel bad, I was dealt some good cards. I spent time with my dad’s family in northern Ohio. My grandparents and dad would watch tv and then go off on a tangent related to what was on tv, speaking really loud, preventing us from hearing any show and giving them our undivided attention, which at the time was annoying, but now, it’s just funny. We ate lots of good food and forgot the meaning of thanks-giving, at least as it related to God in the corporate setting. I hung out with my mom back in Cinci until I bored her to sleep (she was tired to begin with) and ate spicy Panera (what were they thinking?). Now I’m back to school and am starting my routine. It’s going to be a hard two and a half weeks ahead, lots of reading and writing, but this is what I’m suppose to be doing, so I’m honored to do it. If something really hilarious happens between now and then I’ll be sure to post it. Lastly, who in the world is reading by blog in Plano, TX?

it ain't easy being cheesy

I know when I started out as a Christian I was a lot more naive as to how life would play out. I thought that being a Christian would be a cakewalk, you know where you walk around and someone just gives you a cake, man, carnivals are great… I digress. I can’t tell you that when I wake up I want to go pray, or want to read my Bible. In fact, I don’t really want to do anything Christian many days when I wake up. Now either I just have missed the boat, or the Christian walk is hard. Unlike many other things, discipline is not enough, I can’t just get up and spend time with God out of duty, I mean I can, and I do have to some days do things out of obedience, but that’s not what my life is suppose to be. It’s a battle within myself many times over. I’ve heard the inner struggle compared to war, and I must agree, it is a war. I was just reflecting on this, this morning and thought I would share.

Thanksgiving

I love thanksgiving. Almost more than Christmas. Now if Christmas was about Christ and not about presents, it wouldn't even be a contest, but alas, the enemy has taken a joyous holiday and turned it into American consumerism, or maybe we just did that. Either way, I find that I enjoy the fellowship of family and the de-emphasis on presents and materialism all that much more. I do regret that every Thanksgiving turns into a contest among peers as to who became the biggest glutton, this year I will be out of the runnings. I’ve found in myself a stronger and stronger desire to not be a glutton and to remember God’s not excited about me being a glutton either. Fasting has helped me gain a control over the food that I doubt I would have realized I needed, had it been otherwise. Anyway, there’s nothing like being with my incredibly loud family, eating great food, laughing so hard it hurts and then listening to old men gabber on and on about meaningless football while the women are having deep conversations in the kitchen (and you thought they were just cleaning the dishes, no way, it’s just a method of keeping the men out of their conversation). This holiday season will be all the sweeter spending time with my brother who just graduated high school and has been spending his first semester away from home and my sister who is in her senior year at Wright State University. I hope your thanksgiving is as good as mine will be. Praise be to God, who brought to us eternal life through the only savior of all humankind, Jesus Christ our Lord!

HP and Me, throwing down

I'm tired of my HP printer. It should be shot. I'm contemplating sending it back to HP with a note on it, "CRAP." just so they'll remember that the 3420 Deskjet is a piece of work. Normally I'm not too hyped up on printers, but I think I've finally had it. There is very little redeeming value to the printer. It will not work without a color cartrige in it, although the HP website seems to disagree, as well as not having a "Print Assistant" that it tells me I have because I have a HP printer. It starts printing a large job then stops two pages in, it has done this repeatly. HP suggests restarting my computer, which has the effect of wasting my time. All in all, HP owes me a sweet laser printer. I know it won't happen, I'm realistic. Yet, me and the junk printer need to go take a 'walk'. One of us won't return. So here's to you HP, way to make a such a terrible and difficult printer.

chapel lecturer

Another world famous lecturer came and spoke in our chapel today. It’s actually a normative thing as chapels go. I’m sure that it makes some people feel impressed, but something else has made an impression on me. The speakers usually participate in a section following the lecture, during lunch, in which the speaker dialogues with people who want to speak with them. This smaller area is used to foster an atmosphere where a deeper level of learning can take place. Beyond the annoying questions that people ask that make the lecturer out to be a god of sorts, there is a sense of learning that takes place.

The thing that most impresses me though is the way we all interact with these heroes that we get to meet, these men and women that have helped shape our thought and challenge us to look at the Scriptures in new and deeper ways. There is a sense in which we want them to know us. We want them to build a relationship with us. We want others to know that we have a relationship with this person. And it got me thinking about my motives. Why do I want a relationship with this person? What if my relationship with them was just behind closed doors, would I still want it? Am I after the publicity of being known as a friend or an associate of their work? And I can’t help but think that secretly, my motives are being driven by a need to feel important, to gain leverage to feel accepted by others. To make the world stop and say, “Whoa, that guy is special!”

And then I started to think about their source of wisdom; the source from which they blow our minds and bring us new insights. And I think, “it’s God!” God is the one empowering them, giving them insights.

And then I start to think about how God works in people. Granted he does give status and power to some. Yet, it seems to me, that throughout the Bible we are told not to seek such things, not to desire men’s approval and worship. I think of Paul and Barnabas running into the crowd and tearing their clothes, scarcely being able to stop the people from worshiping them.

And then I think, man, God is so counter-intuitive, so ironic. Only when you aren’t driven by the need for prestige, about man’s glory, then you will seemly get it. And if you do get it, you won’t want it, you’ll point back to the Creator, even at the point of getting mad at these men who are trying to ascribe glory to you. And you’ll beg them not to, and they still will. Secretly they think you want it, secretly you might even have the desire to get it, but with every fiber in you, you know you shouldn’t want it, and you glory in not getting it, but pointing them back to the one that is truly worthy of the glory.

What a God.

that special bond.

There is a special bond two people who live in the same room hold together. You talk to each other, you share theological insights with one another, and you pass gas together. There's just something special about passing gas in the presence of another. Some prefer verbose gas that could tell a story while others prefer to express themselves with a machine gun like speech. Either way, the point is at the end of the day, there's that special bond between those two people who live in the same room. Sure, some may say it's simply the funk that's infiltrated the recesses of the mind (those poor only children), while others know it's something that goes beyond what words can express.

And who can forget the methods people take to rid themselves of this special bond. Some prefer to use "air freshener", while others prefer to open a window or door, still others prefer to light a candle (if you're brave enough). The point is that you express your expulsion method together.

so english isn't my language

it has also been recently been pointed out that english isn't my language....

Matching clothes...

My girlfriend tells me I can’t my feet together. It’s a painful truth, but I just plain don’t know how to match nothin’ I guess. For example I went up to visit her in Portland two weeks ago and I wore a green t-shirt with a tan dress shirt over it with blue jeans and some sneakers. She waited until the next day and subtly told me that I didn’t match the day before. Honestly, I thought I was stylin’. On Sunday I thought I would push my luck and wear a similar outfit, another green t-shirt and the tan dress shirt. After church on the way to lunch one of my buddies tells me I don’t know how to dress and decides he’s going to take me on has his new style project. This is hilarious to me. I guess I will always be an engineer no matter how hard I try. Personally, I still think the outfit wasn’t lookin’ so bad.

Identity in ministry?

This past week was a bit discouraging. I debated not writing about it, fearing that some of the college students at our church might read it, but I guess it will be a good lesson in the imperfection of humans. Here we go.

I put a lot of time and effort in arranging something recently in the ministry God has placed me in. By all human measurements, it failed rottenly. I found myself struggling with basing my identity in my performance in ministry. I know that I shouldn’t base my identity or feeling God’s ‘approval’ in how well I am doing, but still when I fail, it’s not a good feeling and the temptation to believe that God is disappointed in me because I failed is real. In retrospect, I’m glad when God lets me fail on some level because I think it helps me re-evaluate what I’m really thinking, not what I think I’m thinking. It caused me to really deal with how God views me when I fail.

To which I must agree in asking, "Is this one for the people? Or is this one for the Lord? Do I simply serenade the things I must afford?"

modern scholars

It has finally turned fall here in Lexington. I’m sad to say that I’m actually kind of glad that it is here. School is going well, I’m reading a lot of commentaries and trying to decide how to best deal with all the modern scholarship against the traditional writers of the NT. I don’t agree with modern scholars, and frankly I’m not really convinced by their case but I have to wonder how I’m going to deal with it. How do you approach a bunch of Christians that don’t think that the people claiming to have written the NT aren’t really the writers? If the writers don’t have the integrity to be honest in who’s writing them (writingin the sense of dictating or directly writing the letter), then why in the world would we take them as a credible source? I think the answer is that a lot of modern scholars while acting like they still would keep the credibility if the author was other than asserted in the letter, really want to use it as a basis for throwing out whatever they decide they don’t like, something that rubs against the culturally accepted values. It’s odd to me because I think most Christians (outside of these ‘great’ scholars) would agree that the Bible is always counter-cultural. That’s what being the Bible means! If it didn’t rub the cat the wrong way so to speak, then what value would it be? Would it be valuable to tell us, “Hey you’re doing everything right, don’t bother reading!”

fixing...

I have no idea what to write about so I’ll talk about what God’s teaching me. He’s teaching me to be thankful for what he’s given me. I can see this in the convictions I’ve felt lately. I’m by nature a fixer. I fix things. Whatever it may be from relationships to electronics to church systems to whatever, I just have a tendency to see the problems, address them and move on. The down side is that I have a tendency to see all the problems and get frustrated with them. It definitely can burn people around me as well as burn myself if I don’t take time to focus on the good, thus the lesson I’m learning. It’s like I’m being shown how to fix the fixing fixation!

God's will

"I have found His will is always good; but the best thing about it is that I find Him there.
…
Almost every young person you counsel as a pastor wants to know God’s will for his life. How much more important it is for him to know God than to know what His will is! If we know God, His will becomes evident. We can’t miss it; it will come."

Dennis F. Kinlaw

Less than 25% in US are married w/kid(s)?!?!?!

I had to post this, it's amazing to me. Less than 25% of Americans are married with children. By 2010 it is suppose to drop to 20%. Divorce rates are high, living together is growing in popularity. America is in big trouble.

how human?

How human was Jesus? That was the question raised tonight in the dorm. An interesting question. Did he take a number one, how about a number two? The debate was raging on how did he struggled. Did he experience being sick? Did he get the common cold? Could he have gotten leprosy? He was ordinary and yet, not ordinary by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, he did bleed just like we do. He was tempted just like we are, but without sin. Did he struggle with the normal things as he grew through puberty? How did he deal with being single in his 30s? Did he doubt his own divinity or want to throw in the towel in ministry? How often did he feel discouraged? Did he feel depressed in his ministry?

let it come alive.

“The great tragedy of the Reformation was that when Luther died, Piper said [another Piper], Melanchthon edited his work. And when Calvin died Beza edited his work. Melanchthon encouraged the people of Germany to read the Bible to find Luther’s doctrine in it, while Beza encouraged the people of Geneva to read the Bible to find Calvin’s. Thus the Word of God was stifled again.
That was a comment for which I will never cease to be grateful. I am Wesleyan in theology, but I need to be very careful that when I read the Bible my concern is not to find what Wesley taught, but to discover the Word of God. If Wesley opens the windows on the Word of God (and he does for me), three cheers for Wesley; but the important thing is that the Word of God comes alive for me, so that I can share it with others.”
Dr. Dennis Kinlaw
from Preaching in the Spirit