Buttermilk

I ran out of milk yesterday. I walked down to the store (yes, you actually walk to the store here) and much to my dismay there was only two options left, 1% buttermilk and Vitamin D milk. Now the Vitamin D milk expires Nov 2nd and the buttermilk says it can hold out to Nov 11th. I decided I would figure out how buttery buttermilk was. I looked at the fat content, trans fats and the saturated fat to figure out if buttermilk was crazy high and would cause me to fall over dead after a bowl of cereal. Tangent: San Francisco is the only city you would find a campaign insane enough to think that they can actually ban trans fats (good idea though if it was possible). So after looking it over, buttermilk was actually healthier in all fat categories over Vitamin D milk. I picked the buttermilk, I mean who wants milk that expires in like three days? Well, I walked back home and poured my new buttermilk all over my cereal. Something odd happened. The milk didn’t really soak into the cereal. Early in the morning you really don’t think too much about these kinds of things, so I took a bite. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever put orange juice on your cereal before, but I have. Let me tell you Lucky Charms and OJ weren’t designed to be combined like that. The same can be said for buttermilk and cereal. Yes, I probably should have known better, but I never tried buttermilk, I figured it couldn’t be that bad. It was. It was that bad. I tried to water down the buttermilk so I could handle it. Buttermilk and water separate like water and oil, I don’t know, but I suspect that buttermilk has properties that make it more like oil than water. I guess that’s why it’s called buttermilk and why it was still on the shelf when all the EDIBLE milk had been picked clean. Yes, buttermilk and Elmer's glue are close relatives.