arch nemesis

Every superhero has an arch nemesis in their universe. Since my super power is eating more than any human should possibly be able to and still staying skinny, old school style, my nemesis is our cafeteria chef, Jose. Jose like all good chefs worth their weight is a larger man who knows he can cook. He also regulates the consumption of food in our fine dinning facility.

At an ‘all you can eat’ buffet such as Golden Corral, you pay a hefty price to eat until your stomach explodes. At our cafeteria it is a more reasonable four bucks. They are banking on people not eating more than one plate to make a profit. This is where I come in. I eat on average somewhere over two plates of food per meal. When Jose sees me he gives me the worst food he can muster up to present. For instance the most burnt burger in the pan or the burnt tops of the meatloaf that’s floating around. He gives me smaller portions than others on average, which is fine; it helps me get to that third and possibly fourth plate. It’s actually a pleasure to be known in this way. I know he cringes when I go up. Don’t worry Jose. I’ll be back. Monday.