A Dog with Two Heads

Now you've seen everything, even a dog with two heads. So consider your life fulfilled... Unless you want more than this world wants to offer you, then I suggest you try Christianity. It's worked for many that have gone before you. I'm not just a salesman, I'm a Christian too.

Things are pretty slow around the house, I think when you don't have anything you can really do, you start to get even more tired than you were before when you had lots of things to do. So in honor of my inability to get motivated to read for school or do my work for church here's a list of things I've realized this week.

1. No matter how much you feed my dog he always wants more. No, seriously!

2. My dad and the dog have a telepathic connection. The dog only appears to come back in (after I've let him out) when I'm sitting down to do something and my dad walks by the door. In this way, I look like I'm being negligent to the dog and he gets more treats from my dad!

3. If there is a puddle of mud or dirty water, my dog will find it. He's like a magnet.

4. The dishes get dirty all at once, I don't know how, but somehow they do. For instance I left to go to a dentist appointment today and when I returned, there was an entire sink of dishes, mind you there is only my dad at home and he only ate a bowl of soup. Or so the story goes....

5. Most people make too many generalizations. It sounds good when they say it, but later you realize they were making too broad of a statement. (do you see the humor in this?)

6. Green bananas go directly from green to brown, with no yellow days. I've been watching this new batch and it's not any different.

7. I've never been to the dentist when they said, "Man! Your teeth are so clean! Just leave! No need to be here!" It doesn't matter how long or often I brush them!

8. Family always calls you when you're asleep. It doesn't matter if it's 2:30 in the afternoon, somehow you'll be asleep!

9. Recommendations always come from people who hardly know you. They never ask for recommendations from people who actually know you, because they might be bias!

10. People are never happy with what they have. If they were, they wouldn't be people.