Two memorable things happened today....
1. I thought I punctured my lung and couldn’t breath at all for at least 30 seconds, it was a long 30 seconds. Everyone around me seemed confident that I would start breathing soon, I wasn’t. I did however manage to almost grab the Frisbee out of the air as I dove for it (Ultimate Frisbee). Man, I’m getting old.
2. I cracked my finger, I mean by that, that it popped…. on Scott’s belly! I was sitting on the couch trying to do some stuff on the internet, and he lifts up his shirt and charges me with his stomach. I figured if I held out my index finger, it would be a deterrent. It wasn’t. I couldn’t let him call my bluff, so I just kept it out there, and then he ran into it. I think I have the weirdest roommate in the world. I certainly didn’t wake up this morning thinking I would crack my finger on my roommate’s stomach. It’s gross. Did I mention I couldn’t breath for like 30 seconds? Man, it was a long 30 seconds.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Job 31
Job 31 is a curious chapter. I googled it, and found a person who refered to it as the man's equivalent of the Proverbs 31 woman. It is a quite interesting comparison. I don't think I've ever heard anyone make a reference to the male equivalent. A good chapter to read and think over. Enjoy!
Job 31
1"I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin? 2What would be my portion from God above and my heritage from the Almighty on high? 3Is not calamity for the unrighteous, and disaster for the workers of iniquity? 4Does not he see my ways and number all my steps?
5"If I have walked with falsehood and my foot has hastened to deceit; 6(Let me be weighed in a just balance, and let God know my integrity!) 7if my step has turned aside from the way and my heart has gone after my eyes, and if any spot has stuck to my hands, 8then let me sow, and another eat, and let what grows for me be rooted out.
9"If my heart has been enticed toward a woman, and I have lain in wait at my neighbor's door, 10then let my wife grind for another, and let others bow down on her. 11For that would be a heinous crime; that would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges; 12for that would be a fire that consumes as far as Abaddon, and it would burn to the root all my increase.
13"If I have rejected the cause of my manservant or my maidservant, when they brought a complaint against me, 14what then shall I do when God rises up? When he makes inquiry, what shall I answer him? 15Did not he who made me in the womb make him? And did not one fashion us in the womb?
16"If I have withheld anything that the poor desired, or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail, 17or have eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless has not eaten of it 18(for from my youth the fatherless grew up with me as with a father, and from my mother's womb I guided the widow), 19if I have seen anyone perish for lack of clothing, or the needy without covering, 20if his body has not blessed me, and if he was not warmed with the fleece of my sheep, 21if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, because I saw my help in the gate, 22then let my shoulder blade fall from my shoulder, and let my arm be broken from its socket. 23For I was in terror of calamity from God, and I could not have faced his majesty.
24"If I have made gold my trust or called fine gold my confidence, 25if I have rejoiced because my wealth was abundant or because my hand had found much, 26if I have looked at the sun when it shone, or the moon moving in splendor, 27and my heart has been secretly enticed, and my mouth has kissed my hand, 28this also would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges, for I would have been false to God above.
29"If I have rejoiced at the ruin of him who hated me, or exulted when evil overtook him 30(I have not let my mouth sin by asking for his life with a curse), 31if the men of my tent have not said, 'Who is there that has not been filled with his meat?' 32(the sojourner has not lodged in the street; I have opened my doors to the traveler), 33if I have concealed my transgressions as others do by hiding my iniquity in my bosom, 34because I stood in great fear of the multitude, and the contempt of families terrified me, so that I kept silence, and did not go out of doors-- 35Oh, that I had one to hear me! (Here is my signature! Let the Almighty answer me!) Oh, that I had the indictment written by my adversary! 36Surely I would carry it on my shoulder; I would bind it on me as a crown; 37I would give him an account of all my steps; like a prince I would approach him.
38"If my land has cried out against me and its furrows have wept together, 39if I have eaten its yield without payment and made its owners breathe their last, 40let thorns grow instead of wheat, and foul weeds instead of barley."
The words of Job are ended.
Job 31
1"I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin? 2What would be my portion from God above and my heritage from the Almighty on high? 3Is not calamity for the unrighteous, and disaster for the workers of iniquity? 4Does not he see my ways and number all my steps?
5"If I have walked with falsehood and my foot has hastened to deceit; 6(Let me be weighed in a just balance, and let God know my integrity!) 7if my step has turned aside from the way and my heart has gone after my eyes, and if any spot has stuck to my hands, 8then let me sow, and another eat, and let what grows for me be rooted out.
9"If my heart has been enticed toward a woman, and I have lain in wait at my neighbor's door, 10then let my wife grind for another, and let others bow down on her. 11For that would be a heinous crime; that would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges; 12for that would be a fire that consumes as far as Abaddon, and it would burn to the root all my increase.
13"If I have rejected the cause of my manservant or my maidservant, when they brought a complaint against me, 14what then shall I do when God rises up? When he makes inquiry, what shall I answer him? 15Did not he who made me in the womb make him? And did not one fashion us in the womb?
16"If I have withheld anything that the poor desired, or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail, 17or have eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless has not eaten of it 18(for from my youth the fatherless grew up with me as with a father, and from my mother's womb I guided the widow), 19if I have seen anyone perish for lack of clothing, or the needy without covering, 20if his body has not blessed me, and if he was not warmed with the fleece of my sheep, 21if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, because I saw my help in the gate, 22then let my shoulder blade fall from my shoulder, and let my arm be broken from its socket. 23For I was in terror of calamity from God, and I could not have faced his majesty.
24"If I have made gold my trust or called fine gold my confidence, 25if I have rejoiced because my wealth was abundant or because my hand had found much, 26if I have looked at the sun when it shone, or the moon moving in splendor, 27and my heart has been secretly enticed, and my mouth has kissed my hand, 28this also would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges, for I would have been false to God above.
29"If I have rejoiced at the ruin of him who hated me, or exulted when evil overtook him 30(I have not let my mouth sin by asking for his life with a curse), 31if the men of my tent have not said, 'Who is there that has not been filled with his meat?' 32(the sojourner has not lodged in the street; I have opened my doors to the traveler), 33if I have concealed my transgressions as others do by hiding my iniquity in my bosom, 34because I stood in great fear of the multitude, and the contempt of families terrified me, so that I kept silence, and did not go out of doors-- 35Oh, that I had one to hear me! (Here is my signature! Let the Almighty answer me!) Oh, that I had the indictment written by my adversary! 36Surely I would carry it on my shoulder; I would bind it on me as a crown; 37I would give him an account of all my steps; like a prince I would approach him.
38"If my land has cried out against me and its furrows have wept together, 39if I have eaten its yield without payment and made its owners breathe their last, 40let thorns grow instead of wheat, and foul weeds instead of barley."
The words of Job are ended.
ESV
Saturday, June 25, 2005
See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
and his arm rules for him.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?
Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?
Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.
and his arm rules for him.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?
Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?
Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.
Isaiah 40:10-15
Thursday, June 16, 2005
invisible boogers
It’s been a booger of a time. Pardon the bad attempt at making a joke. You see, my little girlfriend (Andi) gave me a cold she had, the end of last week. When she originally got it, she was quite the little whiner. Being the “tough” boyfriend I am [Sidenote: whenever I say boyfriend, now there’s this association I make with Sqeaker, the live-in boyfriend cat of Andi’s cat Carmel, who got her pregnant and happens to be her brother. Cat soap-operas, I know. Also I should state: No! In no way is Andi possibly pregnant, unless you can get pregnant from holding hands, or my sister. End sidenote]. I decided getting a cold wasn’t that big of a deal and we hung out anyway. Well, now it’s been about a week and I still have the cold I got from her.
However, this cold has a weird side effect. It makes me think I have boogers hanging out of my nose all the time. If I’m ever in a conversation with you during this past week, I’m sure you’ve seen me rubbing my nose. It’s all a desperate attempt to clean it out so we can keep talking. The thing is, I don’t have any boogers in my nose, unless I can’t see them when I stare in the mirror. I can look and look some more in the mirror, believing from my nose (I think I can officially say it’s a liar) that there are boogers there. So I pretty much look like a cocaine snorter, always rubbing my nose. I’m not. I just have imaginary boogers in my nose that I can’t get out. If I would have known that every conversation I have would involve me violently rubbing my nose, I’m not sure I would have hung out with my little Andimal that dreaded night. So Andi, let me say, we’ll always have Paris, er… that time you gave me a cold and I began acting like I had a bad drug habbit.
However, this cold has a weird side effect. It makes me think I have boogers hanging out of my nose all the time. If I’m ever in a conversation with you during this past week, I’m sure you’ve seen me rubbing my nose. It’s all a desperate attempt to clean it out so we can keep talking. The thing is, I don’t have any boogers in my nose, unless I can’t see them when I stare in the mirror. I can look and look some more in the mirror, believing from my nose (I think I can officially say it’s a liar) that there are boogers there. So I pretty much look like a cocaine snorter, always rubbing my nose. I’m not. I just have imaginary boogers in my nose that I can’t get out. If I would have known that every conversation I have would involve me violently rubbing my nose, I’m not sure I would have hung out with my little Andimal that dreaded night. So Andi, let me say, we’ll always have Paris, er… that time you gave me a cold and I began acting like I had a bad drug habbit.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
What mission trips really are....
To all my loyal readers, thanks for hanging in there with the Dumples. It has been an interesting time back here in Boston. I’ve been doing a lot of hanging out with my girlfriend and some time doing stuff with my other friends too. You’ll have to cut me some slack, she’s leaving for three weeks and we all know what mission trips really are… find your future spouse! At least, that’s what one of my favorite professors at school calls them. So I have to remember how cool she was before she goes and dumps the Dumple for some dude she falls in love with on the trip. I’ll miss my Andimal.
Things are good here. I’m working again, which means soon I’ll have money to get my eyes checked and my teeth cleaned. Woo hoo! I know you’re happy too. You know I thought I was the only one who hadn’t seen the dentist in a while, until I talked to one of my friends tonight who informed me that he hasn’t been to the dentist in like four or five years! Gross! I’m glad you’re married dude, she should keep you in line.
For all the readers who keep asking if the ex-girlfriend I ran into during my brother’s graduation is Leanne, the answer is no. You need to find a hobby or something. I don’t avoid her, and now I don’t think I’ll avoid any of the ex’s. It’s just too interesting to find out what happened to them.
At this point some of you are saying, “Man, does this guy have a lame post or what!?!?” All I can say is… Alright, so I remembered this story when I was talking with Andi. I was in junior high, in gym class and I had a bad cold. So I started coughing and hacked up this major loogy. I couldn’t exactly spit it out because the teacher was lecturing. So I did what any self-respecting junior high guy did, I swallowed the sucker. Or at least, I tried to swallow it. It got stuck. It was huge! So there I am choking on a snott ball I coughed up, when the teacher sees me choking. She grabs me out of the audience and starts performing the Hymleck maneuver on me. Everyone is stunned. I remember watching their faces, I mean what else are you going to do when someone’s punching you in the stomach? The problem was that I wasn’t REALLY choking on it. At least I didn’t think so. So I tell her, “I’m not choking!” which obviously you can’t do when you’re choking. But it was hard to get out when she kept knocking the wind out of me. After it was over, she pulled me aside and told me I was lucky, when she did it on her grandpa he broke some ribs. It was one of the most awkward times I can ever remember.
So that’s the story for now. Thanks for checking in. Until next week, this is the Dumple saying, “RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
Things are good here. I’m working again, which means soon I’ll have money to get my eyes checked and my teeth cleaned. Woo hoo! I know you’re happy too. You know I thought I was the only one who hadn’t seen the dentist in a while, until I talked to one of my friends tonight who informed me that he hasn’t been to the dentist in like four or five years! Gross! I’m glad you’re married dude, she should keep you in line.
For all the readers who keep asking if the ex-girlfriend I ran into during my brother’s graduation is Leanne, the answer is no. You need to find a hobby or something. I don’t avoid her, and now I don’t think I’ll avoid any of the ex’s. It’s just too interesting to find out what happened to them.
At this point some of you are saying, “Man, does this guy have a lame post or what!?!?” All I can say is… Alright, so I remembered this story when I was talking with Andi. I was in junior high, in gym class and I had a bad cold. So I started coughing and hacked up this major loogy. I couldn’t exactly spit it out because the teacher was lecturing. So I did what any self-respecting junior high guy did, I swallowed the sucker. Or at least, I tried to swallow it. It got stuck. It was huge! So there I am choking on a snott ball I coughed up, when the teacher sees me choking. She grabs me out of the audience and starts performing the Hymleck maneuver on me. Everyone is stunned. I remember watching their faces, I mean what else are you going to do when someone’s punching you in the stomach? The problem was that I wasn’t REALLY choking on it. At least I didn’t think so. So I tell her, “I’m not choking!” which obviously you can’t do when you’re choking. But it was hard to get out when she kept knocking the wind out of me. After it was over, she pulled me aside and told me I was lucky, when she did it on her grandpa he broke some ribs. It was one of the most awkward times I can ever remember.
So that’s the story for now. Thanks for checking in. Until next week, this is the Dumple saying, “RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
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