Monday, October 17, 2005

Identity in ministry?

This past week was a bit discouraging. I debated not writing about it, fearing that some of the college students at our church might read it, but I guess it will be a good lesson in the imperfection of humans. Here we go.

I put a lot of time and effort in arranging something recently in the ministry God has placed me in. By all human measurements, it failed rottenly. I found myself struggling with basing my identity in my performance in ministry. I know that I shouldn’t base my identity or feeling God’s ‘approval’ in how well I am doing, but still when I fail, it’s not a good feeling and the temptation to believe that God is disappointed in me because I failed is real. In retrospect, I’m glad when God lets me fail on some level because I think it helps me re-evaluate what I’m really thinking, not what I think I’m thinking. It caused me to really deal with how God views me when I fail.

To which I must agree in asking, "Is this one for the people? Or is this one for the Lord? Do I simply serenade the things I must afford?"

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